


Romantic Volume 2

by jade_lil



Series: Book of Tears [5]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, Ohmiya are in love and still idiots, Verse : Book of Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 10:07:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15661044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: Book of Tears Verse. Months/Years after Nino and Ohno have gotten back together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation of Volume 1. Ohmiya tried it one more time.

"To give or not to give," he hums to himself, turning the ring over and over around his fingers. It's so silly to feel this way about something so simple, so normal (at least in Ohno's case, that is) but he guesses there's no helping it when this gift means something else, something more, no matter how simple he pretends it to be. 

"Oh. My. God." Jun gasps from the doorway, clutching the front of his shirt dramatically as he scrambles to take the ring away, hide it somewhere no one else could see but then he realized Jun has probably already seen it. 

"What?" he hisses, but the little quakes in his voice betrays the way he is scowling in pretend-annoyance. 

"Where is it?" Jun demands, throwing his hand out, palm spread, right into his face. "I saw it, don't even try to hide it. Let me see!" 

He scowls, batting Jun's hand away. "I don't know what you're talking about, leave me alone already!" 

"You're an awful liar, Ninomiya," Jun returns with a scowl of his own, "Show it to me, I just want to make sure it's not cheap-looking or something," 

"Why would I even buy a cheap-looking ring for Oh -" he pauses, then mutters a curse when Jun all but smirks. "Oh, fuck you. Fuck you very much," 

Jun waves his palm. "No thanks," Jun says, grinning. "Quick, let me see before the others arrive,"

He sighs in resignation at the same time he reaches down to take the ring out of his pants pocket, placing it carefully on Jun's waiting palm. 

Jun squints at it, inspecting it like he is trying to find something wrong in it, like he knows even the slightest details about any rings (or maybe he actually does, he thinks, since the guy probably owns a drawer-full of jewelries) and arches an eyebrow at it. 

"What?" 

Jun chuckles. "Not bad," 

"Why, thank you," he grumbles, snatching the ring out of Jun's hand at the same time their dressing room door opens, revealing Aiba and Sho, Ohno following closely after them. He throws Jun a threatening glare, muttering, "Don't you dare open that big mouth of yours," before he leaves the couch to meet Ohno halfway.

 

+++

 

They're in the middle of filming when Jun sidles next to him and whispers, "What, you're not planning on giving it yet," 

He scowls, tilting his head back to make sure Ohno is nowhere near to hear Jun. "Leave me alone," 

"You bought a ring, Nino," Jun points out as if it should be obvious (as if it isn't already), bumping their shoulders together. "and an expensive one at that, but you're not planning on giving it? Are you crazy?" 

"No, you're the crazy one," he retorts, smiling at the cooing crowd who actually has no idea he is being bullied by Emperor Matsumoto. They probably think Jun is helping him or checking him if he's okay or something, judging with the way a few of the girls are squealing and giggling and whispering to each other. He sighs. "I said leave me alone," he hisses, doing his best to keep his smile in place despite the urge to hit Jun with cue card. "If in case you've forgotten, we're in the middle of a fucking shoot and you're fucking distracting me," 

Jun looks like he wants to say something but Sho is motioning for them to come over, so instead, Jun simply shrugs and mutters, "Whatever; you're going to call me anyway if that ring happened to stay in your pocket for weeks instead of ending up around Leader's finger. I just know it." 

"Fuck off,"

 

+++

 

He finds himself staring gloomily at the reflection of himself in the bathroom mirror when Ohno walks in. 

"Yo," Ohno greets (his usual way), makes sure the bathroom stall is empty before Ohno stands behind him and pecks him on the cheek. "Something wrong?" 

He shakes his head. "Then why are you making that face?" Ohno asks, hooking his chin over his shoulder for a brief moment before he pulls back away.

"What face?"

Ohno points with his mouth as he goes to the sink to wash his hands. "The 'I-want-to-say-something-but-I-don't-think-I-should face'," Ohno says, "in short, the constipated face," 

"You're stupid," he chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest. Seriously, he's that transparent? 

"You're that transparent," Ohno tells him, as if the older man has somehow able to read his mind without even batting an eye. Seriously fucking creepy. 

"Get out of my head, oh my god," he grouches, though he can't help the smile from popping up in his face. 

Ohno shrugs, then tugs a few plies of tissue and dries his hand without saying anything. Once done with the task, Ohno spares the door a look and quickly goes to stand in front of him, hands finding his hips with so little difficulty before Ohno is leaning in to nose at his cheeks. 

"You don't have to give it if you're not ready yet," Ohno tells him in utter seriousness and he swears a shiver runs up his spine when Ohno leans up and traces the shell of his ear with his tongue. "I can wait till you are, you know that," Ohno says and drops a very quick and very chaste kiss against his lips before he pulls completely away and is out the door before he can even react. 

"Damn it, damn you, damn fucking -" he finds himself cursing, face flushed, fingers reaching down and fishing for the ring he stuffed in there. 

"Damn you," he tells the ring and shoves it back where he knows it shouldn't be.


	2. Chapter 2

He is still muttering under his breath when he lets himself in the apartment, toeing his shoes off carelessly and putting on the house slippers absently. He doesn't bother with the keys and just pockets them, only vaguely wondering whether Ohno is home or not.  
  
Well, he should be, he thinks, because Ohno should be done with everything after five and he is sure Ohno didn't mention anything about any planned fishing or going to his parents' place for a visit.  
  
He sighs and walks the rest of the way inside, discarding his workbag and jacket on the way without bothering checking the rest of the place. He's exhausted, and it's not just because of the work, but because of something else entirely.  
  
He bypasses the couch in favor of heading straight to the bedroom to change, shedding his clothes one by one even before he manages to switch the light on. He's down with just his boxers on when his eyes rivets to the bedside table, sucking on a deep breathe the moment his gaze catches something shiny sitting there next to the alarm clock.  
  
He grabs his pants again, heart thudding hard inside his chest as he fishes around the pants' pockets, his blood pounding hard through his ears. For a second there he's so worried, but then everything sort of halts into a stop when his fingers found the familiar shape of the ring he still can't be man enough to give Ohno, taking it out and staring at it before his eyes wander back into the exact same ring sitting on his bedside table.  
  
"What the fuck?" he mutters, glancing back and forth to the ring in his hand and the ring on the night stand, wondering if he should probably slap himself just to check that he didn't actually fell asleep and is actually dreaming about two identical rings he is staring at now. "Seriously?"  
  
Someone who sounded painfully like Ohno chuckles from the door and he finds himself whipping around to find the culprit (which is actually really Ohno) arms crossed over his chest and smiling like a lunatic. He can tell, despite the fact that only half of Ohno's face is bathed with light but even then, he can spy the hint of playful smile tugging at the corners of Ohno's mouth, like the bastard is actually enjoying his momentary shock and is soaking the fact in.  
  
He turns, scowls as he copies Ohno's stance and crosses his arms over his chest as he faces Ohno. "Something funny?" he grunts, rudely, arching a brow at Ohno when Ohno simply shrugs and walks a few steps forward away from the door.  
  
"Yeah," Ohno returns, "you,"  
  
"Really now,"  
  
"Yes," Ohno breathes and he is really THIS close to walking the short way towards Ohno, meet him in the middle just so he can punch the bastard's face for being so fucking smug but he holds himself still. "Because you look like you've seen a ghost and it's so funny, I'm sorry,"  
  
He ignores the obvious jibe in Ohno's tone. "Well, can you blame me?" he retorts, pointing a rude thumb behind him and keeping the ring securely inside his other hand. "Explain." he says, without bothering saying anything anymore.  
  
Ohno shrugs again and walks past him; he turns and follows Ohno's back until Ohno stops near the night stand and reaches down for the ring sitting there.  
  
"What, this?"  
  
God help him but he is really considering decking Ohno now, just to get the answers he needed but he can't - he can be mad at Ohno for being the world's biggest jerk, has even considered punching Ohno more times he'd already lost count but he never - he couldn't do it. He can't. It's that simple.  
  
Still, it probably wouldn't hurt if Ohno thinks that he can. Whatever. "I'm going to hit you, I swear to god,"  
  
Ohno chuckles and turns around so fast he swears he didn't expect it, finds himself faceful of Ohno as Ohno closes in on him before he can even back away. Ohno tsks and brands an arm around him, raising the ring with his other.  
  
"Why, because I got you the same ring you're supposed to give me but couldn't because you're a scaredy cat?"  
  
"Why you -" he says or at least starts to, but Ohno doesn't let him. He is being kissed thoroughly before he can even blink, grumbling into Ohno's mouth as Ohno angles his head and kisses him hard.  
  
++++  
  
"G-God, N-Nino -" Ohno moans, fingernails digging into his hips as he rolls his own into Ohno, gasping in a sharp breath when the movement brings Ohno deeper into him. He wants to punish Ohno for teasing him, but he knows that whatever he's planning on doing will only backfire into his face so he doesn't bother.  
  
Besides, it feels too good to pretend he's doing this just for the heck of it, moaning low in his throat when Ohno reattaches his mouth against the hollow space between his neck and shoulder and sucks that spot with a little too much force than necessary.  
  
"You gotta help me out here," he hisses, hooking an arm around Ohno's neck as he reaches down to touch himself with the other. He's so turned on that every little shift between their bodies is enough to make his spine tingle, groaning low and biting his tongue to keep himself from coming right then and there.  
  
"You want to top," Ohno returns with a royal pout and god, he wants to kiss him, wants to smooth it away with his lips but Ohno is still talking and he doesn't want to preempt Ohno when he's talking. So instead, he throws his head back and feels the way Ohno's face follows, humming his name against his skin. "that means you want to do all the work,"  
  
"This is seriously not fair," he grumbles, though he is rolling his hips again in that way he knows Ohno likes, and smiling at the way Ohno rewards him with a tight groan the second after. "If I've known that was what you meant, I should have just flipped you over and fucked you instead,"  
  
"Not my fault if you like it like this,"  
  
He grunts and whacks Ohno lightly across the head. "And you don't?"  
  
"Who said that?" Ohno returns, keening, because he  happens to be fond at making Ohno suffer by clenching around Ohno as he moves. Serves him right for being a jackass even when he already has his dick shoved deep into him and still complaining.  
  
"You should really learn when to shut your mouth, Leader," he grumbles, pulling himself up at the same time before dropping back down with a hiss. Ohno makes a whining sound from the back of his throat, grasping his hips and jerking his own to meet Nino's halfway.  
  
"Fuck," Ohno curses and he swears the sound of it goes straight to his cock, the tingling sensation intensifies when Ohno repeats it again. "God damn it, Nino -"  
  
"What?"  
  
Ohno is breathing hard, stopping him with his hands firmly grabbing his hips and kissing him. "Slow down, will you?" Ohno says, mostly into his mouth and he whimpers, can't not, because for all of his wicked intention to get back at Ohno, it's still fairly hard to keep himself from coming prematurely when Ohno is buried so deep into him and keening. And well, he's never claimed to have that much stamina to begin with and Ohno never called him out or teased him about it anyway, and he's sure Ohno isn't going to now.  
  
"W-What -"  
  
Ohno lets him go for a brief second and watches as Ohno twists sideways to grab something from the night stand.  
  
He doesn't even need to look at it to know what it is.  
  
"Oh-chan -"  
  
Ohno leans forward and kisses his shoulder, before he feels Ohno's hand grabbing his left. "I'm not going to ask you for the one you bought for me," Ohno says, softly, at the same time they watch him slide the ring onto his finger. "not going to force you to give it when it's obvious that you're not ready yet but that doesn't mean I'll do the same because I can't. This symbolizes my promise that I will never leave your side, ever again, not even if you push me away. That I'm giving this to you as a token of my love and my devotion, and the promise that no matter what happens, I'll stay in love with you. Forever,"  
  
He watches, dazed, unable to say anything as Ohno kisses his finger, now with the ring on, before Ohno leans up and kisses him full on the mouth.  
  
"Nino?" Ohno calls, sounding worried, kind of nervous all of a sudden. "now's the time to say something,"  
  
He shakes his head and wills the butterflies in his belly away, tries swallowing past the lump that has formed in his throat at the same time he catches Ohno's face in between his hands and kisses Ohno's lips tenderly.  
  
"Thank you," is the only thing he manages then before he rolls his hips to finish what he'd started hours ago.  
  
+++  
  
He looks at the ring in his hand and the one he had on his finger, weighing everything in his head as Ohno snores lightly against his hair.  
  
 _This symbolizes my promise that I will never leave your side, ever again, not even if you push me away. That I'm giving this to you as a token of my love and my devotion, and my promise that no matter what happens, I'll stay in love with you. Forever._  
  
Well, doesn't he feel the same way for Ohno?  
  
"I do," he breathes the words into Ohno's chest, lets a small smile blooms at the corners of his mouth as he grabs Ohno's right hand, squints at Ohno's long, artist fingers for all of two seconds before he slides the ring onto his finger. Then, without a word, he leans down and kisses it, just what Ohno did when he did the same earlier, feeling like a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  
  
A beat, then, "There," Ohno whispers into his hair he startles almost immediately, freezing on the spot but Ohno's arms are there to gather him in. "Was that so hard, hmmm?"  
  
He snorts, feeling like his face is on fire as he buries it into Ohno's chest. "God, I hate you," he mutters, but he doesn't, not really.  
  
Ohno hums and takes it all in stride, before he feels Ohno's fingers on his jaw, cupping his cheek and tilting his head up.  
  
"I love you, too,"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's only their second day here and he already received about fifty missed calls from Jun alone, coupled with about twenty eight messages before he turned his phone off, all of which bear the same 'Where in hell are you and Leader ran off now?' question.

“You’re serious?” he asks, letting Ohno tug him up the stairs, Ohno right hand gripping his left  tight but not tight enough to hurt him. Their rings glisten under the cabin’s dim light and he can’t help the spread of warmth flooding his insides at the sight of it. 

Ohno huffs and tugs at their joined hands again. “You still think I’m joking when we’re already here?” Ohno says. He doesn’t answer because then they reached the top landing and he’s taking in the familiar sight with a smile. “Ah, this is nostalgic,” Ohno says, then, letting his hand go in favor of putting his bag down before Ohno reaches for his own, slipping it off his shoulder and putting it next to Ohno’s on the floor. 

It’s been a couple of years since they were here, and he honestly didn’t think he’d get back here on a completely different circumstance. Before, it had been the five of them – with staffs swarming the place and following their every movements but this time, it’s just him and Ohno. 

“Are we here to reminisce, then?” he asks, walking his gaze around and smiling at the sight of the four futons laid next to each other and the lone one rolled carefully next to the spot where Ohno has dropped their bags. “You should have asked the other three to come with us if that was your plan all along,” he smirks, walking the short way towards the futon he remembered occupying that night when they were here. 

“I’m sure there’s a hint of jealousy in there somewhere but I’ll let it pass in favor of cuddling the fuck out of you later, just so you know,” 

“Hmm, is that a threat?” he hums, laying down on the futon face-first and vaguely hearing Ohno’s footsteps as he walks the rest of the way to lie next to him, too. 

“Maybe,” Ohno says, and he feels Ohno’s fingers on his hair before he even manages to raise his head and check Ohno out. “What about we go out for dinner first and then we’ll talk about what we will do in the next three days that we’re here?” 

“Three days?!” he sputters indignantly, “I thought you said we’ll just be staying the night?!” 

Ohno looks sheepish, boyish, like he’s eighteen again and possesses the sweetest smile Nino has ever seen in his admittedly short life then. He bats Ohno’s fingers away if only to remind himself that they’re both grown men in a serious relationship now, and that his heart should really stop trying to kill him everytime Ohno looks at him like that. Ridiculous, ridiculous heart. 

“Well, I lied?” 

He sits right up and reaches out to squeeze Ohno’s nose. “You jerk,” he grits, though it sure lacks the bite he probably intended because he’s smiling, laughing even at the pained expression on Ohno’s face. “How did you even manage that? Wrangling one off day is hard enough, but three? Did you somehow bribed our managers with money?” he asks, then, lets Ohno in favor of staring at the way Ohno rubs at his abused nose. “Well, I don’t care so long as it’s not my money,” he says, like an afterthought. 

“Kazu, not everyone is after the money, okay? And no, I didn’t bribe anyone, I used my charm, that way’s easier,” 

“ _ _You’re__  a big lying liar,” he returns, but he’s smiling and well, it’s not like he can help it. Ohno throws him a wink and smiles back in a way that makes things in his chest tight. “Oh my god, seriously,” 

“I’m most definitely not,” Ohno says, taking his hand and planting soft kisses over his knuckles. “Why’s it hard to believe that I only need to say __please__  and maybe bat my eyelashes a little to get what I want?” 

“Oh my god, you’re not Jun, why would you even do that?” 

Ohno giggles into his hand and he swears to god that if Jun is here he’s probably throwing something at his head already. Good thing Jun is not. 

“I’m seriously telling Matsumoto-san that, just you wait,” 

He tugs his hand back and uses it to aim a light slap against Ohno’s forehead. “No, you won’t,” he says, smiling sweetly. “Because you know he’ll kill me. Or maybe he won’t but he’ll definitely do something to hurt me, and you don’t want that, right?” 

“Of course!” 

He smiles and shakes his head. “That’s what I thought,” he agrees, then, knowing that the playful part is over, he says, “So, dinner?” 

“Yeah,” Ohno agrees, standing up and holding his hand out to help him. 

“Eh, but what if someone sees us?” he says, remembering it just now because somehow, the possibility would always be there no matter what. He looks up and sees the corners of Ohno’s mouth curl into a knowing smile before Ohno lets him go in favor of crossing the short distance between the futons and their bags and starts rummaging through the contents. “Satoshi, what are you –“ he says, or at least starts to, but then Ohno exclaims something that resembles ‘found it!’ under his breath and raising his hand. 

“A camera?” 

Ohno nods. “Whoever sees us, or whoever will ask, we’ll just say we’re filming a corner for Shiyagare,” Ohno says, like he is sure it’s an alibi that would actually work and he fucking knows it. “So you just need to hold off with the touching while we’re out there, yeah? You can do more than touch when we got back here, how’s that?” 

He scowls but allows Ohno to haul him from where he’s still sitting his ass down on the futon. 

“Come on, I’m starving,” Ohno says, taking his hand and kissing his ringed-finger. “Feed me before I decide on devouring you instead,” 

He is giggling before he can even stop himself. “Oh my god, seriously, shut up!” 

Ohno smiles and tugs him up then pulls him in for a quick kiss. “It’s our honeymoon, brat,” Ohno says, mostly into his mouth and he’s leaning into Ohno before he can even stop it. It’s not like he has every intention to, because he can’t, it’s just his body’s natural reaction to Ohno’s kisses and close proximity. 

“It is?” he asks as he worms his fingers around Ohno’s neck, fingering the strands of short hairs at the back of Ohno’s head. It’s not, it most definitely isn’t, he and Ohno both know it, but there’s nothing wrong about them wanting to believe that it is. 

“Yes,” Ohno says, kissing him quiet again. “So deal with it,” 

He hums in answer and pulls Ohno’s head down for another kiss, and another, before he presses one last into Ohno’s willing mouth. 

“Dinner?” 

Ohno smiles, goofy and heavy-lidded. “Dinner.” 

“Let’s go, then,”

 

+++

 

It turned out they didn't even need to make up an excuse for eating out together because the owner of the family restaurant Ohno took him to had no idea who they were, or at least that was what it seemed like. 

Though they didn't sit next to each other throughout dinner (also to avoid suspicion), Ohno had been particularly attentive, filling his glass with beer even when it wasn't even half-empty, making sure he was eating enough meat and vegetables even when Ohno didn't look like he was paying attention. 

They went back, took a shower, separately, and went to bed a little after midnight. Just like the first time they were here, they squeezed the futons together and laid down in the middle, pillowing their heads against their arms as they stare at each other through dark. 

"This is nice," he murmurs, Ohno humming right back before he feels him shift closer, Ohno reaching over to touch his cheek. He leans further into Ohno's hand and closes his eyes. 

"It is, ne?" 

"Hmm," he hums, breath catching in his throat when Ohno is suddenly above him, Ohno bracing himself over him before leaning down to press a soft kiss against his temple, the tips of his nose, the side of his mouth. "Oh-chan," 

"Would have been nicer if we can do this everyday, yeah?" Ohno whispers, his voice a tad softer, his breath ghosting over his face, gentle like a butterfly's wings. 

"Certainly," he agrees with a soft smile, folding his arms behind Ohno and tugging Ohno's head down for a kiss. "But won't you get tired of seeing this face every single day?" 

"Would you?" Ohno counters, and his tone is hesitant as it is worried. He shakes his head without even thinking about it, palming the back of Ohno's neck before sliding his hand to pinch Ohno's cheek playfully. 

"Don't be silly," he says around a quiet giggle. "I like your face too much, so it goes without saying that there's no getting tired of it. I'm worried about you, though," 

Ohno cups his jaw and kisses him, slow and a little filthy he is moaning and whimpering for more when Ohno pulls away. 

Ohno leans down and rubs his nose against his cheek, the action is so painfully intimate and adorable he finds himself caught between giggling and awww-ing quietly. He settles with the former and gives Ohno's cheek a light pinch. 

"It's late, aren't you sleepy yet?" 

"Are you?" 

"Stop repeating what I'm saying, old man," he grumbles, twisting his head sideways but Ohno's fingers are immediately there to stop him. 

Ohno chuckles. "Alright, alright, fine," Ohno says, shifting and laying down next to him again without letting him go. "Sleep?" 

"If you feel like it," 

Ohno hums and does something with his legs that makes his insides twitch. There's a gasp he isn't able to stifle, and he knows, even without seeing it, that Ohno is grinning, the bastard. 

"Or not," he follows, and moves before Ohno gets another word out. He's on top of Ohno in an instant, has seized Ohno by the arms before moving his hands to take Ohno's face in between them. 

"Thought you said you want to sleep," Ohno says, breathy, and god, he can't decide whether he wants to slap Ohno or kiss him just to shut him up. He gasps and shudders when Ohno lifts his hips from the futon, thrusting up and letting him feel Ohno's excitement through the soft fabrics of his pajama pants. 

"Screw sleep, I want you," he mutters, leaning down to kiss Ohno hard on the mouth. 

__Oh well,__  he thinks, as Ohno flips their positions over and rolling his hips into him. It's their honeymoon night, anyway. Sleep can wait. Meanwhile, this certainly won't, moaning as Ohno touches him through his sweats and kissing the air straight from his mouth. 

" _Love you_ ," Ohno whispers, "I love you so much, Nino,"

 

+

 

It's only their second day here and he already received about fifty missed calls from Jun alone, coupled with about twenty eight messages before he turned his phone off, all of which bear the same 'Where in hell are you and Leader ran off now?' question. 

He feels sore in all the places that counts but it doesn't matter because it's the kind of pain that reminds him of the things he thought he won't be able to get back again, something he thought he won't get to experience again after the pain he and Ohno suffered during the past year they've been apart but. 

But things are okay now, better even, if he is going to be completely honest about it. Nothing about this is painful, at all, well maybe aside from the slight throbbing he is feeling on his lower back, and the ever permanent gaping ache the morning after Ohno spent the better part of the night shoved deep inside him. 

"Kazu, hey, did you hear what I said?" Ohno calls, raising his head a bit and making his fingers still from running them through Ohno's hair. 

"What?" 

Ohno squints and shifts a little to press a kiss against the inside of his wrist. "I said Jun-kun's calling," Ohno tells him, pushing the phone close to his face. "I was asking you if I should answer," 

"He was calling me too that's why I turned my phone off," he returns, frowning; then, "Come to think of it, he kept on asking me where we are," he says, seemingly lost in thought. "Could it be that you forgot to inform our friends about this planned trip of yours?" 

Ohno blinks and stays quiet for about a full minute before his face breaks into the most adorable smile ever, the one that makes him look not even a day over twenty and god, his heart really should stop trying to kill him by pounding so hard like that just because he is looking at Leader's god-fucking gorgeous face, and smile, and ugh, he's so hopeless. 

"Oops?" Ohno mutters, into the  back of his own hand and grinning. 

"Jesus, Oh-chan," he says, rolling his eyes to the heaven and taking Ohno's phone, sliding his thumb across the screen to take the call. "No wonder J is freaking out," he grumbles and hasn't even managed to get one word out before Jun is screaming on the other end and cursing. 

He chuckles. "Calm your tits, Matsumoto," he tells the fuming Jun, vaguely hearing Ohno snorting in answer. He doesn't miss the way Ohno has gone back to pillow his head against his stomach, doesn't miss the way Ohno grabs his right hand in his. 

__First off, I don't remember having tits so, fuck you very much__ , Jun growls and he giggles, can't not, but he does his best to keep it down. __And second thing, how do you expect me to calm down when two of my members decided to run off without even informing the rest of us? Do you know how many times I called you and messaged you__  - 

"Around fifty times before I turned my phone off," he says. 

__Then why the hell weren't you answering__?!, Jun half-yells. 

He smirks, then gasps when he realized Ohno has shoved one of his fingers into his mouth and begins sucking the digit lightly. The inside of Ohno's mouth is hot and so, so wet, that his stomach tightens at the memory of said mouth around his length, hot and demanding, as Ohno's fingers slip in and out of his body the night before. 

He licks his lips and keeps his gaze locked on Ohno, and Ohno's mouth working around his finger. "I - we were b-busy," he says, his brain to mouth filter clearly not working properly at the moment. 

Well, who could blame him when Ohno's talented mouth is making him imagine so many filthy things all at once? 

__Oh my god__ , Jun grits, sounding horrified, __Did you just tell me what I think you told me?__

He watches, dazed, throat suddenly dry as Ohno shifts to his side and begins tonguing his fingertip with precise strokes, leaving him breathless within seconds. He bites his lips if only to keep the noises in, but sounds still come out when Ohno closes his mouth over his finger again. 

"Fuck, Oh-chan -"

 _ _Oh my god, Ninomiya, I swear to god I'm going to kill you with your own tie the next time I see you!,__  Jun curses, but he's no longer listening. His attention is wholly focused on Ohno, on the way Ohno has shifted comfortably above him, letting his finger go in favor of catching his mouth into a kiss.

 

+++

 

"Hmmm," he hums, content and sated, lying inside Ohno's arms with his face pressed against Ohno's naked and damp chest. Their breathing gradually evening out after they spent the last hour tangled together, Ohno's fingers threading through his hair as he mouths Ohno's name against the older man's skin. 

"Hmm, indeed," Ohno returns, tone amused and so, so fond he is giggling into Ohno's chest without meaning to. His fingers find the curve of Ohno's hips and holds on, holds on, holds on, letting the warmness of Ohno's body seep through his fingertips with every stroke. 

"Are we going to spend the remaining day fucking each other's brains out, Oh-chan?" he asks, doesn't bother coating his words when he feels so perfect and sated, here inside Ohno's embrace.

"Unless you want to spend it doing something else, like playing cards or other, then be my guest," Ohno returns, smugly, and well, that's not a bad idea either but. But the thing is, this is their supposed honeymoon, right? 

So. "Nah," he says, turning over and pressing himself flushed against Ohno, leaning up to bite Ohno's chin gently. God, he doesn't know he has this much stamina in him because not even half an hour after his last orgasm, he wants Ohno again.

He crawls up Ohno's body, rolls his hips against Ohno and feels Ohno's cock stirs in response when he repeats the action, Ohno's mouth parted open for him when he leans down for a kiss.

"This is better," he breathes into Ohno's mouth, gasping when Ohno's hands fly to his hips, then down to cop a feel, getting a handful of his ass as Ohno rolls his hips into him, matching his rhythm.

"Way, way better," 

"Ah, _Kazu,"_

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually just a filler, an Interlude of some sort. Thought of taking this out because of the filth, but, oh well.

He steps out from the bedroom to the sight of Ohno on the couch, arm thrown over his eyes and legs spread wide it would have been completely indecent if not for the fact that Ohno looks dead tired.  
  
He heaves a sigh, folds his arms over his chest and leans back against the doorframe, watching Ohno for a good few seconds before deciding that yes, he probably should just go there and ask the older man what is wrong.  
  
Chuckling under his breath, he shakes his head and starts walking.  
  
++  
  
He doesn't realize Nino is there until he feels Nino's fingers massaging his scalp.  
  
"Nino," he sighs and leans further into Nino's touch, tilting his head back to give Nino some more room to move his fingers, sighing contentedly at the feel of those fingers on him, how Nino is able to unknot the tension pounding away in his temple with just a few strokes. "Ah, that feels good,"  
  
"Hmm," Nino hums in answer, before he feels Nino round the way from behind him to stand in his front without letting go. He pops his eyes open to find Nino's gaze on him, amused and so so tender that he finds himself smiling in turn.  
  
Nino lets his fingers slide from his temple to his jaw, thumbing the corner of his mouth and murmuring, "Tired?"  
  
He nods, tilting his face and pressing a kiss against Nino's palm. "Shall I help you to bed or do you want to shower first?"  
  
He shakes his head and closes his fingers around Nino's wrist, tugging him forward. Nino archs an eyebrows at him, does his best to stay still for a few seconds before he lets himself be steered to the direction he is leading Nino, steadying Nino with a hand down the small of Nino's back as he helps Nino slide on top of his lap.  
  
"I thought you're tired?" Nino hums, pressing a light kiss against his temple, his eyes, the  bridge of his nose. He sighs in answer and leans back without meaning to, keeping his arms around Nino as Nino peppers his face with tiny, smoothing kisses.  
  
"I am," he breathes, opening his eyes to the worried expression on Nino's face. "but it's not going to kill me so quit looking at me like I'm going to drop dead anytime soon because I'm not going to,"  
  
Nino chuckles and reaches up to pinch his cheek lightly. "Who told you I was worried?" Nino asks, tone playful but he knows Nino well enough to know when Nino is simply trying to cover up what he really feels. This is certainly one of those.  
  
"You don't have to tell me," he says, palming the curve of Nino's hips just because he can, Nino's skin warm through the thin fabric of his shirt separating it from his touch. "It's all over your face, brat,"  
  
"Hmph," Nino harrumphs, and he grins, can't not, leaning up to kiss the side of Nino's mouth because how can he not? "I'm just worried I'd have to be the one to carry your old, useless body out of here when you collapsed,"  
  
He huffs out a giggle against Nino's cheek and holds Nino close, then closer still. "I knew it," he says, does his best to sound accusing but it's difficult when Nino is close and still peppering kisses against his jaw and making tiny noises as he does so.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You only like me when I'm strong and able to provide you with multiple orgasms," he states, finds himself giggling again when Nino does the same, into his neck. "I feel so used,"  
  
"You got me," Nino answers, breathy, against the skin of his throat and he shudders, the warmness of Nino's breath seeping through his tired bones and going straight to his head down south before he can even stop it. "Although I also like you for your abs," Nino says, pointing this out by slipping his fingers inside the hem of his dress shirt and sliding his palm over the broad expanse of his stomach.  
  
"I thought you love everything about me?" he whispers, feigning hurt, though it is evident in the way that Nino is trying to suppress his laughter that Nino is, as always, able to see right through his pretenses.  
  
"Fine," Nino answers, before Nino tilts his head and bites down on his neck hard enough to make him groan in combined pain and arousal. "Oh," Nino exclaims, pulling back and staring at him. He smiles, dazed, hand reaching down to cup Nino's ass through his pants.  
  
"I thought you're tired," Nino points out again, but he doesn't miss the way Nino is swallowing hard, the way Nino is shifting above him.  
  
He licks his suddenly dry lips and leans over to bite Nino's earlobe. "Not anymore,"  
  
+++  
  
He almost fell on his ass but thankfully, Ohno's hands are there to steady him. He smiles, grateful, and leans over to kiss Ohno once more before he is moving again, standing up on shaky legs before sliding down on his knees between Ohno's legs, parting them wide as he settles himself in the middle. He presses two light kisses against Ohno's kneecaps while his fingers work on sliding Ohno's zippers down.  
  
"Nino,"  
  
"Shhh," he hushes, kissing Ohno's legs again as his fingers found Ohno already hard and slick at the tip. He takes Ohno's cock in hand, guides it out from its hiding and braces himself on his elbows over Ohno's legs before sampling a taste. He runs his tongue along the underside as he holds the base firmly, pumping it slowly as he teases the head with a few rolls of his tongue along the slit.  
  
"Ah, fuck, that's - ah, Nino-"  
  
He grin to himself and makes an affirming noise from the back of his throat, makes sure they make eye contact first before he slides his mouth over the sensitive head and sucks. Ohno's hips jerks almost instinctively from the couch and he keeps his mouth parted to give Ohno's cock enough room to slip in, lets his tongue do the work as Ohno's hands fly to his hair.  
  
"Oh god, Nino -" Ohno whimpers, broken and raspy, not missing the way Ohno is trying to be gentle. Ohno keeps his hold around the base of his skull to keep his head in place but his touch is gentle, like he knows he might hurt him and he's trying not to. He hums around Ohno's cock and pulls away slowly, lets Ohno pop out of his mouth with an almost obscene sound before he tilts his head and rests it against one of Ohno's legs.  
  
"It's alright, Oh-chan," he says, jerking Ohno's cock slow and licking his lips to chase away the remnants of Ohno's arousal around his lips. "This time's for you. Come on, fuck my mouth, do whatever you want, go however fast you want to go, it's fine."  
  
Ohno reaches out and touch his face. "Nino,"  
  
He kneels up properly and leans up for a kiss, hand still around Ohno's cock. "For you," he says.  
  
Ohno nods and kisses him back.  
  
+++  
  
He's about to lose it, he knows it, can't do anything about it as his hips surges from the couch, eyes wide as he stares at Nino, at the shape Nino's mouth makes around his cock. He's so hard that it's almost painful, vaguely wondering if he's hurting Nino as he fucks Nino's mouth with abandon but he knows Nino won't have any of that.  
  
This time's for you, Nino says, watches the almost obscene way Nino's mouth is parted open for him and gives up trying to hold back as he grabs Nino's shoulders and pumps his hips once, twice, hard enough that he is seeing stars. Nino moans around his cock and does something with his tongue that fires up every nerve endings in his body, shuddering in his last attempt to prolong the moment and letting go when it finally get to be too much, yelling out Nino's name as he comes and comes as if he's never going to stop down the back of Nino's throat.  
  
+++  
  
He is back on top of Ohno's lap, licking his lips and wondering if he looks as smug as he feels. Ohno's arms are around him, breath heaving still and well, he can't exactly blame him. That was one explosive orgasm right there, courtesy of his mouth, thank you very much.  
  
"God, that was - uh, one of the best yet," Ohno murmurs and he giggles, can't not, despite the fact that his own dick is still throbbing hard inside his pants. It's alright though, because this time, it's for Ohno.  
  
"I'd like to think so, too," he counters, fingering the small hairs round the back of Ohno's head. "judging with how loud you screamed my name when you came,"  
  
"Ugh, you're terrible," Ohno tells him but he doesn't miss the way Ohno's fingers tighten around his back, the almost possesive way Ohno is holding him close to the older man. "I don't know why I love you," Ohno asks, though he is looking at him as if knows exactly why and he likes it.  
  
He grins and leans in to nose at Ohno's cheek. "Simple," he says, "it's because I give amazing heads," he says, then shrieks when he feels Ohno's hand dropping on his crotch and feeling him. "Oh."  
  
"Oh, you didn't -" Ohno trails when he shakes his head and kisses Ohno quiet again.  
  
"Told you that was for you," he says, "I didn't want to distract myself. I want to give you my undivided attention, you know?"  
  
Ohno looks at him as if he can't believe what he's hearing, as if he doesn't know how he got so lucky, as if Ohno is still as crazy about him the same way as ever.  
  
"I love _you_ ," Ohno tells him before Ohno is on him, touching him through his pants. He moans, breathy and ragged, into Ohno's mouth as Ohno slips his hand inside the waist band of his pants and begins touching him properly.  
  
"O-Oh-chan,"  
  
Ohno silences him with a kiss, pulling back and whispering. "Thank you," Ohno says, then, "and now this one's for you,"  
  
Oh well, that's good, too, he thinks.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the announcement of Ohno's Freestyle 2 exhibition.

“Seriously, Nino, will you please sit your ass down?” Jun grumbles, staring pointedly at him. “Goodness, you’re a mess! You look like a nervous husband waiting for his wife to deliver their first child!” 

“Gee, thanks,” he says, meaning it to be anything but mocking but he knows it only came out sounding strained, maybe a little frustrated. “You’re saying that but I know you, Matsumoto Jun, you’re quietly freaking out, too,” 

Jun makes a noise from the back of his throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” 

“Oh please, stop lying,” 

“I don’t really –“ 

He ignores Jun in favor of checking his phone again. “Fuck, it has been more than an hour,” he hisses before he starts walking again. He’d been doing that for the last half hour, crossing the short distance between the couch and the door, walking back and forth until Jun apparently got tired from watching him parade around like a pathetic loser by snapping at him. 

He turns to Jun. “Do you think it’s a bad idea if I go there and check?” he says, fingers tightening around his phone. 

“I think it’s a terrible idea,” Jun agrees quite readily. 

He scowls. “Are you really my friend or what? Why can’t you support me like how a normal friend would?” 

Jun rolls his eyes in answer. “What, I’m not a good friend now because I didn’t tell you to go and spy on your boyfriend while Management’s talking to him?” 

“You could have at least tried being nice by saying you’ll even go with me to check whether Leader’s –“ 

“No one’s going anywhere,” Sho announces from the doorway, smirking. Nino wonders if it’s appropriate to want to punch it away as he makes his way out but all thoughts of violence came to a halting stop when he realized Sho isn’t alone. He has Ohno in tow. 

“Leader!” Jun shouts at the same time he did. 

“Oh-chan!” he exclaims, side-stepping Jun before Jun manages to elbow him out of the way. He’s seized Ohno by the wrist before any of them could complain and leads Ohno to the nearest couch. 

“Oh, hi Sho! Nice to see you, too. How are you doing today? Thanks, Nino, I’m doing great,  by the way!” Sho harrumphs, feigning annoyance as Jun laughs at Sho’s antics. He ignores them both in favor of closing his hands firmly around Ohno’s forearm. 

He sits Ohno down before he does so next to Ohno. “Oh-chan, talk to me,” 

Ohno’s eyes are glazed that Nino isn’t quite sure if Ohno can actually see him. “Satoshi, come on, you’re scaring me,” 

Somewhere behind them, Sho is murmuring something to Jun. He throws his arm over Ohno’s shoulders and turns to aim a scowl at Sho. But it’s hard to keep up with the façade when he’s actually a little scared and Ohno staying quiet isn’t making things easier either. 

“Fine, Sho-chan, so what the hell happened? What was so important about that impromptu meeting that they had to haul you and Ohchan up there and locked us out for more than an hour? And why you? Why not me? Or Jun? Or Aiba-chan?” 

He watches the smirk takes residence on Sho’s face again while Jun looks horribly like he is torn between crying and jumping, in joy or something else, he’s not quite sure until Sho shrugs and says, pointing at Ohno’s still unmoving form. 

“Oh, nothing important, really,” Sho says, the edges of his mouth curled smugly. Nino feels like leaving Ohno for a bit so he can wipe it away with his fist. 

“If it’s not important, then why the hell Oh-chan isn’t talking and Jun looks like he’s about to pee in his pants?” 

Sho shrugs but his smile is somewhat different now. And he looks like he’s vibrating with so much excitement it’s a little scary. He is about to open his mouth to curse at Sho when Ohno turns and grabs him by the arms, tugging him into Ohno’s embrace and mumbling something into the crook of his neck. 

“What?” he asks, confused. 

“Freestyle 2,” Ohno repeats the words a bit clearer now and he freezes. “They want me to do Freestyle 2, Nino,” 

“Oh my fucking god, are you serious?! That’s wonderful, oh my god!” he exclaims, throwing his arms around Ohno’s neck and mashing his mouth against Ohno’s. 

The others could watch, he couldn’t care less about that at this point, kissing his amazing boyfriend hard in the mouth.

  

+++

  

“I’m so happy for you, Leader,” he tells Ohno once they get inside the apartment. He crowds Ohno by the door and grabs Ohno’s hip, kissing Ohno because he can. “So happy and so proud,” 

Ohno hums into his mouth and catches him around the waist, kissing him back. 

“Nino,” 

He smiles and pushes himself into Ohno’s space, kissing Ohno’s mouth twice, chaste and decidedly tender before he pulls a bit away to talk. 

“You still can’t believe it, can you?” he says, sliding a finger across Ohno’s jaw. Ohno nods and leans back into his touch. “Why? You were there when they offered it, right? Sho-chan said so himself,” 

“I just. It’s so… why would anyone wants to see my lame arts? They’re not even –“ 

He puts a finger over Ohno’s lips and shushes him. “You said the same thing back then,” he says, suddenly remembering the chaos that was 2008 when Ohno did his first Freestyle art exhibition. “But you saw how those people had piled outside the gallery to check your works, right? You saw how they went crazy over each piece, how your photobook sold like pancakes –“ 

“Also, they said they will hold an exhibition outside Japan, too, this time,” 

He's not sure he heard that right. “What?” 

“Yeah,” 

“Outside of Japan where?” 

Ohno shrugs, as if the information means nothing. Like none of this means nothing. 

Even if this means everything.   

"Not sure, though Sho-chan said something about Shanghai or some place in China but I can't be -" 

He is wrapping his arms around Ohno's neck and tugging Ohno's head down for a kiss, before he is sliding down on his knees and working on opening Ohno's pants in glee. 

"What - Nino, what are you doing?" 

He slides his palm across Ohno's crotch and looks up with a grin. "Giving you a celebratory blowjob," he says by way of explanation. "You totally earned it, Oh-chan," he says and leans up to nose Ohno's dick through his boxers.

 

 

+++

  

It ends with him slumped against Ohno and Ohno humming contently against his temple. They are sticking together, sweating from head to toe but he can't bring himself to move away from Ohno, from the door because Ohno wouldn't either. 

"So did they tell you when exactly that exhibition is happening?" he asks, basking on the afterglow. Ohno makes a noise from the back of his throat and shifts his weight further into the door as he squeezes Nino's hips. 

"Didn't ask, didn't care," Ohno says, "you can ask Sho-chan, though. I think that was why they dragged him there with me, too, because they know I won't even pay attention," 

He snorts, because that is so true. Even their management is aware about Ohno's tendency to space out during important meetings and events. 

"Remind me to ask Sho-chan later, then," he says, then, like an afterthought, "Anyway, you should have dragged me instead. Why Sho-chan? Why not me?" 

Ohno shrugs the shoulder he isn't occupying. "I would have if I knew what that impromptu meeting was all about," Ohno says, leaning down to kiss the side of his head. "I was so scared they were going to tell me to break up with you. If I knew it was just about another thing that will steal my time away from you, I would have taken you with me," 

He smiles at that, can't not, and reaches up to poke Ohno's cheek. "Sap," he says, "you totally just made that up, didn't you?" 

Ohno's forehead creases and he shakes his head. "Shut up," Ohno says, fingering the back of his nape tenderly, his tone contradicting the words that just slip out of his mouth. "You know I always want you with me. And I don't care if that's not how it should be or how people expects it to be. I love you and people just need to accept that we're a package deal. You go and I go, fuck the rules, fuck everything. You're mine, we're together. They have to deal with that," 

He inhales sharply when Ohno ducks down and kisses him, wet and almost filthy, before the kiss turns sweet, almost chaste, very tender. 

"Oh, and just to let you know..." Ohno says, pulling away enough to talk. 

"Hmmm?" 

Ohno smiles. "I got the permission to include that portrait I drew after you," 

He blinks, confused. "Which portrait are you talking about?" 

Ohno simply smiles. "You'll see," 

"What - I didn't know you -  NO! absolutely one million percent NO!" 

Ohno grins and catches him around the waist, tugging him in. "Even if I beg?" 

"Even if you  beg!" 

"Even if I go down on my knees and offer you blowjobs as amazing as the ones you give?" 

He hesitates for a moment but doesn't let the image of Ohno on his knees, mouth parted wide for him. 

"Not even!" 

Ohno shrugs. "How about the money they'll be paying me?" 

"What?" 

Ohno's smile is so infectious, so fucking adorable that he doesn't realize he has stopped talking while Ohno giggles uncontrollably against his neck. 

"Oh, Kazu, you're so easy!" 

"What, no!" he counters, but he is smiling too, because god, his boyfriend, really. "Ugh, you're the worst," 

Ohno gathers him in and kisses his face, his eyes, his chin, his nose. "You don't mean that," Ohno murmurs. Then, gentle, as if he's made of vulnerable glass, Ohno cups his face and looks him in the eye. 

"I love you," 

God, his heart is out to kill him again and it's all Ohno's fault. His cheeks are hot and he knows he looks like a girl who is about to swoon but at this point, he couldn't care less. Not when he is naked from the waist down and Ohno's no better either. 

"I love you more," he whispers, fingers stroking Ohno's jaw. "So much. So very much, Satoshi," 

Ohno smiles that one smile that makes things in his chest tight and he smiles back, can't not, leaning halfway to meet Ohno's mouth into a kiss as Ohno holds him, holds him, holds him.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fear and pain resurfacing.

They’re soaking in the bath after the (not-so) unexpected sex by the entrance of their apartment (ugh!), his back against Ohno’s chest and one of Ohno’s arms is branded around his chest while the other is hanging limply at the edge of the bathtub. 

The water sways around them when he shifts to move closer to Ohno, hums comfortably when Ohno presses a kiss, lazy and tender against that soft spot beneath his ear. Ohno seems to like that spot a lot. 

“Oh-chan,” 

“Hmm?” 

He leans heavily against Ohno and simply basking on how wonderful it is that he is where he is, safely tucked inside the cradle of Ohno’s embrace. Without realizing it, his thoughts has somehow took him back to the time where he’s on the same place, alone and miserable because Ohno wasn’t there, his chest clenching painfully tight at the remembered pain as he unconsciously leans further into Ohno. He can’t help but wonder how he was able to go through each day during the past year they were apart when he can’t even imagine being without Ohno now. 

“What is it?” Ohno mumbles into his neck, Ohno’s arm tightening around him absently, as if Ohno has somehow sensed his distress without him saying anything. 

“I just. I’ve been thinking,” he says, and he hates himself for even considering saying this but he wants to. And it’s not just because he doesn’t trust them both enough to make it work till the end, or love each other enough to stick together forever but because even now, even after the few months they were back together, he is still terrified over the fact that he would wake up one day finding Ohno gone. 

“About what?” 

He breathes, deep and careful, fingers finding Ohno’s own and threading them together. 

“If we breakup, yeah?” 

Ohno’s other arm go around him at the same time he is tugged roughly into Ohno’s chest, the action making the water sways dangerously close to spilling. 

“ _ _Don’t__ , Nino,” Ohno says, warns, against the skin of his neck. His breath is warm and Ohno’s hold around him feels almost claustrophobically tight but he can’t seem to find the heart to call Ohno out on it. 

He can’t. Not now, not when he knows he just said something utterly, utterly stupid, something he probably shouldn’t have said but did anyway because it was something he is still fairly terrified of and he needs Ohno to tell him – assure him – that it’s not going to happen again. 

__“If,__  Oh-chan; I’m just saying if –“ 

“Why?” Ohno counters, sounding worried, maybe a little pissed. “Do you want us to?” 

“What, no!” 

Ohno makes a frustrated noise from the back of his throat. “Then stop asking stupid questions,” Ohno says before he is leaning again to press a series of open-mouthed kisses against his shoulder blades. He squeaks, surprised, when Ohno ends it with a not-so-gentle bite against the side of his neck. 

“It’s not stupid,” he says, refusing to admit it even though it actually is. “You know it’s not. It’s just –“ 

“It’s just stupid and nonsense and something that you really shouldn’t even think about because there is no way we’re going to break up again,” Ohno says, biting him again because he can. “There’s no way, you hear me? No fucking away, so you can just forget about it.” 

“You can’t seriously think that –“ 

“I do,” Ohno says, cutting him off again, then pulling away just a bit only to grasp his chin, tilting his head to the side so they can look at each other. “You still don’t trust me, do you?” 

“It’s not that, you know it’s not,” he says, shaking his head; he knows what he was thinking before he brought this up but now he can’t actually make the words come out the way he wants them to, afraid that he’d hurt Ohno if he say anything anymore without actually thinking about them first. 

“I get that you’re scared, Nino,” Ohno tells him, and god, it’s so wonderful to know that he doesn’t even need to say anything for Ohno to figure him out. Half the time, he finds it creepy that Ohno only had to look at him and the older man would know exactly what it is that’s going on in his head, but at most, he can’t deny the fact that he feels wonderfully exposed and loved just because there is someone who knows him just as much as he knows himself, maybe more. 

“And I am, too, you see?” Ohno tells him, bumping their foreheads together lightly. “It’s normal, I guess, for us to feel that way because of what happened to us in the past but then I will look at you and all of those fears simply vanishes when I realized you are looking at me, too. It’s scary, I’m not going to deny that, but we’re here, we’re together and we promised we will fight anyone who will even think of getting in between us, right? Right, Nino?” 

He can only nod his head, throat unexpectedly tight as he closes his eyes and leans in further into Ohno. 

“So what brought this on?” Ohno asks after a long beat, his fingers still tenderly grasping Nino’s chin. “Was it something I said?” he says, then, like an afterthought, “or something I __didn’t__  say?” 

He shakes his head. “I’m not even sure about it myself,” he admits, “I just. I suddenly remembered being here, in the exact same place and the exact same situation, the only difference was that I was alone and miserable because you weren’t there,”

Ohno reaches for him, tugs his face gently for a kiss that is equally gentle. “I’m sorry,” Ohno says, into his mouth. “I can imagine how hard it must be for you, since it was the same for me, too,” 

“I know that,” he returns the kiss, not keeping it gentle and chaste this time because he can, because the urgency thrumming underneath his skin is something he knows he doesn’t have to ignore anymore. 

“You love me,” he says, raggedly into Ohno’s mouth when they part to breath. “which is honestly the one thing that scares me most,” he says, knows that Ohno is looking at him like he’s crazy but he has to say it. He has to. 

He pauses, bravely opens his eyes and feels more than sees the shadow of something wild and frantic curling the edges of Ohno’s mouth. 

“Nino –“ 

“No, hear me out, okay?” he says, gesturing for Ohno to let go so he can turn completely around. He carefully shifts around till they’re face to face, hands finding Ohno’s arms to hold on like an automatic reflex. 

Once satisfied, he lets go of Ohno’s arm only so he can brush his hand, still wet and marginally warm, across the side of Ohno’s neck, curling his palm against the lovely curve of Ohno’s neck and keeping it there. 

He breathes a lungful of air and wishes he has the right words, hoping against hope that he and Ohno are still on the same page no matter how chaotic his thoughts are at the moment. 

“You love me now,” he repeats himself, lowly, feeling his thundering heartbeat against his ribcage. “but what about tomorrow?” he says, lowering his eyes for a second when Ohno exhales harshly the minute those words are out of his mouth. “What if tomorrow, it’s not the same way as it is now? What if the next time you wake up, you’d realized that the way you feel about me isn’t –“ 

“Oh my god, what the hell are you even saying?” Ohno hisses, and then he is once again being tugged into Ohno’s arms, his face on Ohno’s chest when Ohno pulls him in. “Oh god, Nino, what else should I do to keep those thoughts out of your head, tell me,” Ohno says, and the sound of it is muffled with the fact that Ohno has buried his face into his hair. “You can’t possibly think that after everything we’ve been through together, I’m only here because that’s what I feel at the moment? Jesus, Kazu,” 

He wants to shake his head, wants to tell Ohno that __no, it’s not it, I trust you but it’s me I don’t trust and what if you get tired of me, what if the next fight we have, it’ll end up the same way it did before and I’ll lose you again?__ , but wisely bites his tongue as Ohno threads his fingers through his damp  hair. 

Then, without missing a beat, he feels Ohno’s fingers cupping his face, Ohno’s thumb hooking under his chin and tilting his face up. “Look at me, Nino,” Ohno says, “hey, hey, look at me, come on,” 

He doesn’t want to, but Ohno is nothing but a patient man especially when it comes to him. He raises his head and gasps sharply when the first he sees is Ohno’s too-bright eyes. 

“Oh-chan –“ 

“I love you, okay?” Ohno says in a trembling voice, tone frantic and tinged with misery that his heart aches at the sound of it; he wants to regret even opening his mouth but he knows Ohno won’t hear any of it if he apologizes now. “And it’s not going to change, Nino, I promise you that. I know it might not sound convincing and I’m not asking you to believe me now but it’s okay as long as you will allow me the chance to prove you wrong. I get that it’s too hard for you to trust me fully again, I honestly do and I respect that, but at least, at least, allow me the chance to stay with you so I can prove to you that I’m not leaving you or letting you walk away from me again,” Ohno says, cupping his cheeks and leaning up to press a kiss against the side of his mouth, his closed eyes, the soft skin  beneath it. 

“Are you willing to give me that chance, Nino?” 

It’s a question as much as it is a plea and for what it’s worth, Ohno doesn’t even need to ask for it. 

He goes and dives in, catching Ohno’s mouth into a surprise kiss and moans his agreement, hands curling around Ohno’s neck and says, wobbly, 

“You already have it, Oh-chan,” and kisses Ohno again.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nino re-reads the journal alone.

 

It is two am in the fucking morning and he can’t sleep.

Next to him, Ohno is snoring lightly; he wants to be jealous at Ohno for being able to sleep when he himself can’t but it’s hard, considering the fact that Ohno looks like he needed the sleep badly than he himself does.

He carefully extracts himself from beneath Ohno’s arms, careful not to jostle the older man so much as he slips out of Ohno’s embrace. He is considering plugging his Wii to pass the time but he is honestly tired that he wonders why he can’t sleep, damn it.

He’s about to tiptoe out of the bedroom when his gaze finds the journals piled carefully on top of his work table. It’s been almost two months since he last checked them, since he last went through the entries he wrote himself, not because he no longer want to but because it’s difficult enough to juggle his time, what with the amount of work he'd been charged with lately while making sure he doesn’t neglect Ohno, even though he knows Ohno will understand.

He glances back to the bed where Ohno has shifted to his side, nuzzling the pillow he left behind probably to steal the remaining warmth there. He smiles, small and private, before he goes to drag the nearest chair, carefully and quietly, and sits. He reaches over to take one journal from the pile – marked No. 9 - January 2013 – opening it and carefully running his fingers across the page, across the words he’d written then.

 

 

_1 st   January 2013 _

_Why am I not drunk enough to forget how painful it is to look at you and know that I can’t have you again, that despite this pain crippling me, slowly killing me from the inside isn't enough for my pride to just give up and ask you to take me back._

_It’s so stupid, really, because it's been months and shouldn't I be used to this by now? But then you went ahead and did something that made me want to regret ever breaking up with you because even then, not even two minutes after I told you we were over, my heart screamed at me to take it back._

_Was it my fault that I gave us up? Was it my fault that, despite knowing how much I love you, I pushed you away? Were you simply waiting for me to tell you it’s all over? That I’m over you even if I am not?  Or have you truly love me, like you said you did or was it just another lie that I wasn’t able to see because I was so busy loving you that I didn’t realize it was all just make-believe?_

_It would be easier, I think, if it was like that. If you have continued looking the other way when I’m near,  but then you have to follow me tonight and say things that made me want to tug you back into my arms and never let you go. Why do you have to stand next to me and say things that hurt me, when your eyes were saying something else?_

_Why are you doing this to me, Oh-chan? Why now? Why not eight months ago, or seven or six, why now? Why? I don’t get it. I really don’t. Why did you have to look at me as if you were waiting for me to take your hand, as if you were waiting for me to do something you know I wouldn’t do because I won’t. I can’t. I can’t._

_I… it’s too hard, Oh-chan. This is too hard and I don’t know if I can do this anymore. The pain. I don’t think I can bear it any longer. I don’t think  
_

 

“What are you doing?”

Ohno’s voice, soft and inquiring, would have enough to startle him, enough for him to close the journal in haste and turn around to face Ohno but he can't. Not now, not when his eyes are blurry with tears and his shoulders are shaking despite himself.

"Kazu?" Ohno calls him again, his voice clearer now, nearer even. He doesn't know what to say, how to tell the older man to leave him be for now until he's done pulling himself together enough to go back to bed with the older man.

But then again, Ohno probably knows him better now than he does before because then he feels one of Ohno's hands settling over his shoulder, and the other he uses to close the journal without another word.

"I -" he stutters, voice shaking along with the rest of him and he feels rather than hears Ohno's sharp intake of breath when Ohno realizes he is crying. God damn it.  

He is quickly being tugged up on his feet and into Ohno's arms before he even has time to blink, Ohno's hand cradling the back of his head as he mashes his face against the crook of Ohno's  neck. He's shaking, trembling inside Ohno's arms that it's going to be so hard trying to come up with a lie as to why he is crying like a woman scorned just because he read something he knows he shouldn't anymore because it's part of the past and therefore should stay where it belongs.

"What is it this time?" Ohno whispers, tone soft and fond, maybe a little out of breath but he can blame it to the fact that his hearing is quite fuzzy at the moment and he is having trouble breathing himself, god damn it.

"Nothing,"

Ohno's arms go tight around him that its almost suffocating but he doesn't mind it, not at all. In fact, he finds himself leaning further into Ohno, as if by doing that, he'll be able to crawl out from his skin and onto Ohno's own.

"Try harder, Nino," Ohno muses, but he doesn't sound the least bit amused. "It's two am in the fucking morning and you're here reading the journals when you're supposed to be in bed with me, what the fuck is up with that?"

"Can't sleep," he says simply.

"And reading the journals will help you remedy that?"

A beat. "No,"

Ohno pushes him away a bit, just far enough so Ohno can squint at his face, before Ohno's hand come up to wipe the moisture off his cheeks. "Kazu, talk to me," Ohno says, more like begs and his heart aches at the remembered pain just hearing the tone of Ohno's voice. He bites his lips and keeps quiet, not knowing what to say when he's not even sure what is going on inside his own head.

"I'm going to burn those journals," Ohno says after a long beat, his breath warm where it's hitting the side of his face. He jerks, surprised, wondering if Ohno is joking but there's not even a trace of mirth in the older man's eyes. "I swear I will if you don't talk to me, Kazunari,"

He shakes his head. "It's not... I just. I can't sleep,"

Ohno pulls him into the older man's arms again, gentle this time. "They why didn't you wake me? I can help you fall asleep faster than those journals would,"

"It's not -" he says, or at least starts to but then Ohno is sure faster this time, stepping a bit away just so he can hook his thumb under his chin before Ohno's mouth is on him, kissing him, swallowing the words he is about to say next.

When Ohno pulls away, he realizes Ohno is crying too.

"It breaks my heart seeing you like this, Nino," Ohno says, and god, he wonders why he keeps on doing this to himself, to Ohno, to the both of them. "It's so hard, why can't you just let me prove to you that I'm not going to hurt you again?"

He honestly doesn't know how to answer that, so instead, he worms his arms around Ohno's neck and leans in forward for a kiss.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous part. They compensate the crying with, um, you know.

It wasn't as much a struggle as he would have imagined it to be, trekking the way back to the bed with Ohno's arms tight around him as they kiss. It isn't, because despite the way his legs are shaking, threatening to give out on him as he lead them both towards the bed, Ohno is and always had been sturdier and stronger, keeping a firm hold around him as Ohno let him take the lead.   


He whimpers into Ohno's mouth when Ohno parts his wide enough to let him in. He takes what he is freely given, tasting the wet crevices and those hidden pockets inside Ohno's mouth he knows he's never going to get tired of kissing even when they're both old and graying.   


They stop walking then, and he vaguely realizes that they have finally reach the edge of the bed when one of Ohno's hands swipes down his back to settle on the curve of his hip, Ohno tilting his head a little to the right to deepen the kiss.   


He pulls away then and squints at Ohno's face, hand reaching up to wipe the moisture away from Ohno's cheek when he finds it.   


"O-Oh-chan -" he calls, low and soft, coaxing Ohno to open his eyes. Ohno does so, slowly, like he's just woken up and still trying to blink the sleepiness away, and what he sees breaks his heart even more.   


" _Nino_ ," Ohno says his name in that way that makes the ache go away, only for it to come back stronger, fiercer. Ohno's lips quivers along the with the rest of him, Ohno's hand coming up to touch his cheek, before it settles against the side of his neck. "Nino, I love you... I - w-won't you believe it? W-Won't you let me -"   


He shakes his head and takes a step forward as he curls a hand around the back of Ohno's neck, stumbling unto Ohno and catching Ohno's mouth into another kiss.   


" _Kiss me_ ," he begs, even though Ohno already does. "Just kiss me, Oh-chan,"

    


+++

 

He gets into bed first, maneuvering himself to the center, his head almost against the headboard before he beckons Ohno over. They've already rid themselves of their clothes, his gaze raking Ohno's body as Ohno does what he's asked without complaint.   


Ohno reaches out to touch him, fingertips trailing from the side of his mouth to the bare skin of his thighs. He shivers and leans further to the touch, eyes closing as he feels the bed dips when Ohno's weight settle on top of him, of Ohno's mouth pressing against his own.   


They kiss for a while, slow and familiar, just their lips meeting and parting before everything starts to escalate again. Ohno's tongue plunders his mouth in a way that left him breathless, sucking his bottom lip hard enough to bleed before Ohno is soothing the sting with tiny, wet swipes of his tongue afterwards.   


Then Ohno is taking his attention elsewhere, sucking marks to his chin, to the spot beneath his ear before Ohno is crawling downwards, peppering kisses to each patch of bare skin his mouth is able to reach. He pants out a ragged breath, coupled with Ohno's name when Ohno's mouth reaches his nipples, paying each hardened bud the attention they deserve.   


"A-Ah - _O-Oh-cha - n!_ " he exclaims, fingers finding Ohno's hair and tugging at the soft strands lightly as Ohno licks and sucks his nipples, one after the other. The explosion of heat in his lower belly came as a shock, and he finds himself jerking his hips to let Ohno know how much he wants him.   


Ohno raises his head then and it took him quite a long while before he is able to focus his eyes again.   


"Tell me," Ohno says, licking his lips and teasingly moving his hand lower, just low enough for him to brush the head of his erection lightly. He groans and licks his own lips wet, rolling his hips and wanting that wonderful friction against his cock. "Tell me what you _want,_ Nino," Ohno asks again, before he dips his head and kisses the spot his mouth finds, once, twice. "Tell _me_ ,"   


He tightly shut his eyes and wills the urge away, the urge to beg Ohno for it when he knows he owes Ohno more than Ohno does him. He opens his eyes again when the need is at least bearable.   


"You always know what I want," he says, more like whispers, as his fingers lets go of the sheets so he can use them to grip at Ohno's arms, tugging him up. Ohno moves with him despite the question in his eyes. "But first -" he pauses and maneuvers Ohno on top of him, into a sitting position, with him lying in between Ohno's parted legs. He smiles when Ohno looks down at him, breathe catching in his throat when he run his fingertips along the back of Ohno's thighs.   


"I - what?"   


He smiles and reaches up to take Ohno's cock in one hand, Ohno moving with him.   


_"Yes,_ " he says with a smile, "like _this_ ," he adds with a wink before he licks a wet line from the base of Ohno's cock to the underside, grateful for the way Ohno has bend low for him to be able to take the head into his mouth without straining his neck in the process.   


"Ah - _f-fuck_ -" Ohno curses, low and throaty, and god, just the sound of it is enough to make his own cock twitch. He gets the head into his mouth with so little difficulty (because Ohno is wonderful like that), letting his tongue and lips do the work as Ohno alternates between cursing with his eyes half-closed and massaging the side of his neck as his mouth work around Ohno's cock gingerly.   


He lets Ohno pop out of his mouth just far enough for him to talk. "Yes, you _can_ ," he tells Ohno, cupping Ohno's balls and licking the remains of Ohno's arousal around his lips. "Of course. Now, come on. _Fuck me_ ," he says, parting his mouth wide enough for Ohno to slip his cock in between and the shudder that rocks Ohno then is so strong he is left moaning, eyes shutting close as Ohno's hips starts working into little jerks and thrusts. He relaxes around his mouthful and lets Ohno set the phase, carefully breathing through his nose and digging his fingernails against the soft skin of Ohno's waist.   


"N-Nino, I -" Ohno grits, and he realizes Ohno is trying to pull away then. But he is nothing but stubborn, and well, he does owe Ohno a lot tonight so instead of letting Ohno go, he sucks hard and hollows his cheeks around Ohno before Ohno is able to pull out. Ohno freezes and Ohno's cock goes rigid inside his mouth for a second, then two, before Ohno comes with a muffled shout into the back of Nino's throat.

 

+++

 

"God, that was -" Ohno says, or at least starts to but pauses when his hip finds Nino's erection. He smiles sheepishly and presses a kiss against Ohno's mouth, arching his neck and moaning when Ohno's fingers wrap around him.   


"What was that about?" Ohno asks, pressing kisses to his neck, his chin, his throat.   


"Pay back," he answers, reaching up to thread his fingers through Ohno's hair. He opens his eyes to find Ohno staring back at him. "For earlier?"   


Ohno's understanding is as beautiful as the man himself and for the life of him, he wonders what he did to deserve him.   


Ohno shakes his head and nuzzles his nose against his cheek. "For making me cry or for breaking my heart knowing that you were out there reminiscing how I broke yours?"   


"Both," he answers, folding his arms around Ohno and kissing Ohno again. He wants to tell Ohno that it'd be the last time he'd check the journals, but he knows that it's not going to be and it would be stupid to even lie about it, so he doesn't.   


"Nino,"   


He shakes his head and catches one of Ohno's wrists, raising it up to his mouth and pressing two soft kisses against it.   


"I'm sorry," he says, meaning it. "It was stupid of me, I know, but -"   


"I'm not asking you to stop reading them if you feel like it, Kazu, because I know I shouldn't," Ohno says, pressing a hard kiss to his mouth just because he can. "It's just that... I mean, we can do it together? At least then, I'd be there to distract you if in case your brain decides to take you back to that place where I won't be able to get to you fast enough because I'm not there. I mean, it's fine, right? We can read the journals together, reminisce the times we were apart and talk about the things we were thinking about then, how painful it was and how we never want it to happen again?"   


"O-Oh-chan -"   


"We can do that," Ohno says, moving on top of him again to kiss him, then crawl slowly down his body the way he did earlier. "We __should__  do that... that way, you won't have to reminisce alone because I'll be there to hold your hand and tell you that you won't ever experience the same pain again, that you won't ever have to cry again because I won't let you. Because I'll always be there, no matter what,"   


"Satoshi, I -"   


Ohno raises his head and smiles at him through heavy-lidded eyes.   


"Please, Nino?" Ohno says, and god, who is he to say no to that?   


He nods and offers Ohno a smile, fingers reaching down to cup Ohno's cheek.   


"Okay," he answers, "okay, Oh-chan,"   


Ohno smiles back and moves so fast to settle on top of him again.

 

+++

    


There is something enticingly beautiful in the way Ohno looks at him while he rocks back and forth on top of Ohno, something in the way Ohno drags his fingers across his sweaty back as he grinds his hips against Ohno's. Ohno's abs are even more defined when he looks down to check where their bodies are joined and he can't help the sweep of pride and possessiveness as he reaches down to touch Ohno's toned abdomen.   


_"I love you, I love you_ ," he mouths, dragging his mouth from Ohno's cheek down to Ohno's jaw, feeling the roughness of the early morning stubbles growing there. Ohno hums in answer, hips leaving the bed and thrusting, hard and fast and frantic that it left him dizzy.   


He counters the move with a cry, can feel the burst of liquid fire creeping up his spine when Ohno grabs his hips and moves with him. His arousal is nearing its completion, raising his head high enough to catch Ohno's mouth into a kiss, filthy and wet as he rocks onto Ohno hard, faster and faster still.   


"Don't _come_ yet," he begs, can feel his orgasm approaching and god, he wants it so badly he can already taste it. " _Please,_ don't come yet," he says, and Ohno growls in answer, cupping the back of his neck and mashing their mouths together. Ohno sucks on his tongue as he rocks his hips up and down, his cock hard and throbbing. Ohno chooses that moment to touch him, fingernails grazing the head of his cock and he is gone with a shout, shuddering as he comes and comes in between his and Ohno's bodies, muscles spasming around Ohno's cock.   


Ohno makes a noise that is part-awed, part-aroused, and gives him just enough time to breathe air back into his lungs before Ohno is fucking him, hips leaving the mattress and thrusting into him hard enough to rattle him. He holds onto Ohno, holds on, holds on, watches, dazed, as Ohno's face breaks into some semblance of wonder before Ohno freezes and comes inside him in dead silence.

 

 

+++

 

It ends with them tangled together on the bed, heartbeat evening out as they hold each other.   


It is almost five in the morning and he is sleepy.   


"I have work at seven," he says, wanting it to sound like he is blaming Ohno but it's hard when Ohno is giggling into his neck and snuffing filthy things into his ear. "I'm going to be completely useless today and it's because of you and those stupid journals,"   


Ohno snorts. "I swear it's your fault," he tells Ohno.   


"I refused to take the blame," Ohno answers, throwing his legs over Nino's and making a big show at not moving any time soon. "It was your journals' fault, not mine,"   


"The journals aren't the one who fucked me at four in the goddamn morning," he retorts, rudely, though he doesn't really mean it. He is even rubbing at Ohno's arm affectionately, what the hell.   


"It's your fault, then,"   


"Hmph," he counters, vaguely wonders if it's alright to call in sick. Afterall, it is just a scheduled interview and his manager can always re-schedule it. Without that, he'll be free until three and Ohno won't have to be at work until about one.   


"Mail your manager and tell him to mail mine that I can't do that interview, then," he says around a yawn, clutching at Ohno's arms when Ohno tries to move. "Where are you going?" he snaps.   


"To get my phone, you imp," Ohno says, "didn't you say to mail my manager?" he says, then, like an afterthought, "Why don't you mail yours directly?"   


"Tired," he says, simply. He is already on the verge of falling asleep but he doesn't want to do that without his face mashed against Ohno's chest. "Make it fast, then. I want to sleep already,"   


Ohno chuckles and kisses the side of his face, raising his hands above his head. "Don't tell him we stayed till late in the morning doing filthy things to each other, alright? Just tell him I'm not feeling well,"   


Ohno shoves him lightly. "I'm not that stupid, Nino," Ohno says, tugging him back into the older man's arms. "Go to sleep,"   


"Hmm," he hums, and is out like a light the moment Ohno curls his arms around his back.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say this would be my personal favorite out of all the chapters I've written. 
> 
> Ohno goes fishing and almost got lost out at sea.

He drags his hands alongside Ohno’s arms and swallows the stupid, stupid urge to tug Ohno into his arms again, beg him not to go because it’s dumb and it’s stupid and – 

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Ohno tells him, the smug bastard, smiling like he knows what he is thinking and is making a good show of acting so fucking smug about it too. “Just a few hours –“ 

“Ten isn’t a few, Satoshi, don’t be stupid,” he says, scowling because he can’t help it. Ohno chuckles and wraps him into an embrace that is both warm and comforting, and for the love of all things great and beautiful, he is this close to telling Ohno he wants to come with him. 

The only thing stopping him is the fact that he knows Ohno’s been planning this fishing trip for weeks and he doesn’t want to be there only to be a hindrance, because he knows he will be, thanks to this stupid seasickness of his that no amount of Dramamine is enough to stop it from ruining his desire to be with Ohno while he fish. 

“Will it make you feel better if I say I’ll be back before sunrise?” Ohno says, whispering the words into his ear and making him shiver. 

He jerks, tugging himself away from Ohno’s arms and shoving Ohno hard. “Before sunrise?! Are you nuts? It’s only eight, you jerk, that means you’ll be gone for an almost twenty-four –“ 

Ohno laughs and hugs him, hugs him, hugs him, pressing apologetic kisses to his hair before catching his mouth into a hard, demanding kiss. 

“Fine, later tonight then. I’ll try to be home before midnight, how’s that sound?” Ohno says, not letting him answer right away because Ohno is kissing him again. 

“Fine,” he agrees, but only because he trusts Ohno enough not to go back on his word and because he doesn’t want to act and sound like a worried wife (even though he’s already acting like one). “Before midnight, then?” 

Ohno nods, kisses the tips of his nose. “Before midnight,” Ohno says.

 

  

That was two hours and forty eight fucking minutes ago. 

He checks the clock glaring at him from the adjacent wall, fingers clutching his phone like a lifeline. He’s this close to calling Jun, or Sho, or Aiba, but he doesn’t want to bother his friends at crap o’clock in the fucking morning just because he’s fucking worried. 

But then again, he should be. Ohno promised him he’ll be here by midnight, afterall, and it wasn’t even fifty times that he tried calling Ohno’s phone but they are only going straight to mailbox. 

He can’t help it; he is getting increasingly worried. 

The clock strikes two-fifty. He slides his thumb across the screen and unlocks his phone, presses his number one speed dial and waits for the call to connect. 

__I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now –__

“Fuck!” he hisses, so close to throwing his phone against the wall and barely managing not to. He is shaking something bad and it’s not going to get better unless he knows where Ohno is. “Fuck, Satoshi, what the fucking fuck!” he curses, trembling with combined anger and worry. 

God, he doesn’t know what else to do, who else to call and –

 

__Officials are putting the alert to level three, now that the wind has increased and the amount of rain -_ _

 

He stares at the television, watching in horror as the newsflash appears about a sudden storm. 

He presses his second speed dial and doesn’t bother with the niceties when the person grunts rudely from the other end. 

“J, it’s me,” he says, rounding the way to where he is keeping his keys and his wallet, barely remembering to grab his jacket as Jun mumbles something about killing him the next time they see each other for waking him up at two in the fucking morning. 

“Forget about killing me for now,” he says, voice trembling, locking his door and praying to whoever deity is watching over Ohno right now to keep him safe, until he gets there to keep Ohno safe himself. “There’s a storm and Oh-chan hasn’t come home yet when he promised me he’ll be here before midnight,” he pauses here, giving Jun a few seconds to sputter before he is speaking again. 

“Yes, he went fishing. And I’ve been calling his phone for the last two hours but they are only going straight to voice mail, so you know, forgive me for acting like a lunatic or an overacting boyfriend but I’m not going to stay here and wait until he answers me. I’m going to go and look for him,” 

__But Nino, do you know where he went__?, Jun asks, sounding marginally awake. 

“Yes,” he answers, tapping his foot impatiently and waiting for the elevator to open. “I’ll send you the address and if you will come -” he says, pausing to stare at the blinking numbers, “bring Aiba and Sho with you,” he says, stepping into the lift and hanging up.

 

++

 

The minute he is out of the parking lot, he is calling Ohno’s phone number again. And everytime he gets the same automated response, it sure feels like there is another set of invisible fists squeezing his heart, making it too hard to breath, much more think. 

He tries to focus his attention on driving because getting into an accident is the last thing he would want right now. He has memorized the coordinates to the docks where he is sure Ohno had mentioned his chartered boat will pick him up, and the first thing he did the moment he reached his car was to punch those numbers into his GPS. 

Unconsciously, he realizes his finger is tapping the call icon again before he can even stop himself, wincing at the familiar sound of the automated response from Ohno’s phone. __Stupid, stupid man,__  he grumbles without heat, wondering how easy it is for Ohno to break his heart without even as much as trying, how miserable he already feels like just thinking of the possibilities that Ohno is in danger and he couldn’t get to him fast enough to help him. 

His GPS prompts him to turn right after the intersection, at the same time his phone rings, loudly, that it honestly startles the fuck out of him. 

He squints at the unknown number showing at the screen and he doesn’t even bother thinking who it might be because there are only a handful of people who knows this number, sliding his shaking thumb across the screen to take the call and putting it on speaker, just to be safe. 

“ _ _H-Hel__  –“ 

“Kazu, it’s me,” Ohno’s familiar voice cuts in from the other end, and the relief that flooded his whole being then is so overwhelming he doesn’t realize he is shaking, on the verge of crying until something that sounded like a hitching sob tears itself from the back of his throat. “Fuck, I’m __sorry__ ,” Ohno quickly apologizes, before he starts blabbering about how they were stranded at sea for more than a couple of hours when the storm struck, how his phone had died even before their trip began because he stupidly forgot to charge it. 

“We just docked a couple of minutes ago and the first thing I did was to find a place with a phone but then I realized nothing is open at this hour but it’s a good thing the guard is here and he kindly let me borrowed his because I knew you’d be worried and –“ 

“Where are you?” he asks, swallowing the urge to yell because despite the fact that he is so mad at Ohno for being so fucking stupid and for making him worry, he also wants to see Ohno right now, hug him tight and tell him how fucking stupid he is to his face. 

“Eh, well, we’re still here. We are waiting for the Captain’s son to pick us up –“ 

“Just tell me where you are, Satoshi, and I’ll _come_ right over to get you,” he says, tapping a complicated rhthym against the steering wheel as he waits for the light to change. It just turned green when he vaguely hears the familiar name of the dock he is sure Ohno is at the moment before he is grunting, “Just stay there. I’m on my way.” ending the call before Ohno can even get a word out. 

The next he calls is Jun. “J, I’m sorry,” he apologizes even before Jun says anything. “Oh-chan just called me, he said they were stranded at sea and his phone died before the trip so he wasn’t able to contact me. They’re at the docks now and I’m coming to get him, I’m really sorry,” 

__It’s fine__ , Jun says, and he does sound relieved, more than anything. __Are you sure he’s okay? He didn’t sound sick or anything?__ , Jun asks, and he can’t help but smile because that is so typically Jun, and he honestly feels a lot better than he was minutes before. 

“He honestly sounded okay but I can’t be sure. Anyway, I’m almost there. I’ll message you once I have his ass strapped to the car. I… I’m really sorry for calling you guys out so late, I’m just –“ 

__Worried, I know__ , Jun returns, __and hey, stop apologizing, okay? He’s your boyfriend but he’s our Leader, our friend too so it’s okay. We’re just as worried, so its fine. I’m glad you called us, and anyway, you can chastise him all you want when you get home, okay? Not in the car though, yeah? Be safe. We’ll see you guys in two days. And don’t worry about Sho-san and Aiba-chan, I’ll call them now.__

“I owe you one, J,” he says, wondering what he did to deserve such wonderful people he has in his life. “Thank you,” 

Jun tsks and tells him, You __owe me nothing; now go and make sure to bring Leader home safe and sound. Because I want my chance to verbally box his ears once you’re done with him.__

He chuckles and says, “You got it,” before he hangs up.

  

++ 

 

He reaches the dock not even fifteen minutes after, and the first he sees is Ohno. He is huddled into his jacket, his face hidden into the collars and the only visible part of him is his windblown hair but it doesn’t matter because Nino will recognize him anywhere. 

He parks his car at the front of the guard’s house and flicks on the light to get Ohno’s attention. Ohno seems to have lost all of his strength as he is slow to move, hauling his tackle box and his fishing rails and dragging his feet as slowly as his tired muscles will allow him towards the car. 

He takes pity on Ohno and gets down from the driver’s seat to help the older man haul his fishing paraphernalia to the back of the car without saying anything, even refusing to look at Ohno in fear of doing something he knows he will regret later. 

“Nino –“ Ohno says, lowly, but he waves a hand at him and shakes his head. 

“Get in the car, Oh-chan,” he commands through tightly gritted teeth before he climbs onto the driver’s seat. Ohno says nothing in return and turns to wave at the guard before he climbs onto the passenger’s seat quietly.

 

++  

  

“ _Seat belt_ ,” he hisses, waiting for Ohno to strap himself in before he is reversing the car almost angrily. He drives out of the docks and into the dark road, jaw clenched and chest heaving. 

He manages to drive a few meters away from the docks before he is pulling over with a grunt and removing his seatbelt at the same time. Then he turns, surprising Ohno by reaching over and clutching the front of Ohno’s jacket, pulling Ohno to him and mashing their mouths together so fast their teeth click but he doesn’t mind the pain, not really. He has Ohno in his arms now, warm and real, and he’s not going to wait unti they’re home to assure himself that Ohno is here now, that he’s safe and they’re together. 

Ohno’s hand comes up to touch his face at the same time Ohno angles his head so he can deepen the kiss. He is moaning into Ohno’s mouth, wanting the kiss to be as dirty as he can manage it to be but Ohno’s not having any of that. 

Instead, Ohno is kissing him back tenderly; just little nips that make his pulse skip. He doesn’t realize he is tugging Ohno closer, doesn’t realize he is sobbing incoherent words into Ohno’s mouth until Ohno pulls away and kisses his eyes, fingering the wetness away. 

“Kazu, hey,” 

“ _ _Don’t__ –“ he hisses, clutching the front of Ohno’s jacket and wanting Ohno’s mouth on him again. “Don’t you dare do that to me again, you hear me? Don’t you dare, Satoshi, don’t –“ 

“I’m sorry,” Ohno whispers, kissing his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, chasing the remnants of his tears with Ohno’s mouth; he is trembling when Ohno pulls him in, ignoring the pain of the gear shift digging into his thigh in favor of having Ohno’s arms around him, tight and warm and real.

 

 ++

 

They spend the whole drive with his right hand clutching Ohno’s left, using his left to maneuver the steering wheel. Neither of them says anything after the kiss, after his unexpected breakdown the moment he had Ohno safe with him. 

They still don’t talk when they reached home, Ohno opting on leaving his fishing craps behind and telling him there are no fishes in danger of being spoilt this time because they didn’t manage to catch any when he asked Ohno. 

But the moment they are inside the apartment, his arms are around Ohno in an instant, his mouth catching Ohno’s into a hard kiss before Ohno has time to blink. 

He throws himself into the older man’s arms and kisses him, backing him against the door and working on removing Ohno’s belt for him, before he does his pants. “Take care of your jacket and shirt,” he hisses, already on his way to shoving Ohno’s pants down his hips, kneeling down in front of Ohno and swallowing Ohno’s cock to the root without preamble. 

Ohno groans, hot and low and so turned on, allowing him a few seconds with his mouth around Ohno’s cock before Ohno is hauling him up. 

“ _Nino,_ wait –“ 

“No,” he hisses, something desperate resonates in his tone and it vibrates through his skin. He wants to touch Ohno, wants to make Ohno come so hard in his mouth he’d see stars because then he’ll be able to assure himself that he’s not dreaming, that Ohno is right here, Ohno’s cock in his mouth and moaning his name. 

“No, Oh-chan, let me just –“ he groans, cupping Ohno’s balls and kissing the nearest part of Ohno he can reach. He is hard too but he doesn’t care, because right now, all he wants is to watch Ohno come undone under his mouth and fingers, watch Ohno break apart because he is right there to pick him up and help him pull himself together afterwards anyway. 

He wants it; he wants it so bad that he’ll beg Ohno for it, if only because he knows the sight alone – of Ohno’s blissful face as he orgasms – will be enough to erase the misery he felt hours ago. He can’t deal with that, he refuses to, and this is the only way he knows how to keep it out of his head. 

“Hey, hey, come on, look at me,” Ohno says, hurried, taking his face in between Ohno’s hands and kissing him. “Kazu, come on,” 

He shakes his head and keeps shaking it, the renewed pain is so overwhelming he finds himself grasping at Ohno’s arms for support. 

“I’m _here_ now, hey,” Ohno says, soft, touching his face just as softly. “God, I’m so sorry, okay? I didn’t… I didn’t mean to make you worry, I swear, I just. I’m so stupid, of course you’d worry but, hey, I’m here now, okay? Nothing bad happened. I’m okay, I’m alright, so please, Nino, please, just –“ 

He shifts to bury his face against Ohno’s chest, clutching at Ohno’s arms still and shaking. God, he doesn’t know he’s this invested, that he’s in this too deep that the thought of losing Ohno for real is enough to kill him too. 

“ _That_ –“ he starts around a hiccup, feels Ohno’s hands settles down the small of his back. “ – was the worst thing, you hear me? I _didn’t –_ I didn’t know what to do when I couldn’t reach you and –“ 

“I _know_ ,” Ohno says, cupping his chin and kissing him. “I know and I’m sorry,” 

He bravely looks up, worms his arms around Ohno’s shoulders and stares straight into Ohno’s eyes. “You can break up with me all you want –“ he starts, putting a finger over Ohno’s lips to stop him from interrupting him, then, “and I’ll accept that, I totally would, because even then I know you’d still be there somewhere, happy even when you’re not with me – no, just listen to me, okay? That – __breaking up__  is alright, I can live with that, just. You’re not allowed to die on me, okay?” he says, voice breaking at the last syllable, bravely addressing the thing out loud despite how horribly wrong it actually sounded. “You don’t do that to me, you hear me? Not that, Oh-chan. Anything but that,” 

Ohno is looking at him as if he can’t believe him either, but he guesses they’re the same because Ohno has that look on his face that says __Do you even need to ask?__

Ohno pulls him into his arms and presses an apologetic kiss against his temple, Ohno’s arms branded around him tight. 

“Okay, Nino,” Ohno whispers, and he knows it’s an agreement as much as it is a promise. 

He nods against Ohno’s shoulder and murmurs, “Take me to bed, Oh-chan,” feeling the world disappear beneath his feet. Ohno says nothing and kisses him again as they trek the way inside, his mouth on Ohno’s, his arms around Ohno’s neck. 

The world can wait; everything can, but not his desire for Ohno, and his heart’s desire to assure it that what he has in his hands now is real. 

“I love you,” Ohno whispers, catching his mouth into another kiss. “ _I love you,_ ” 

He nods. It’s enough, for now.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for Ohno Satoshi's 2014 'girl friend' scandal. 
> 
> (I don't even know why I wrote scandal there, tbh)

He stared at the advance copy of the tabloid he held in his hand, contemplating between throwing it halfway across the room and tearing it to pieces, stopping himself short when he heard his manager clear his throat, and effectively snapping his attention away from the tabloid itself.  
  
“We did what we could to stop those from hitting the newsstands but apparently, the editors and the management themselves didn’t want to be persuaded,”  
  
He kept quiet. “I thought  _our_  Management’s almost always informed before these things even made it to printing stages, why now –“  
  
“Not this tabloid magazine, Ohno-kun,” his manager said, in all seriousness. “Remember in 2008 when –“   
  
He groaned. Fuck, not that again. That year, even when briefly mentioned, still brought shivers down his spine and with all these crap threatening to blow in a matter days, maybe even hours, he couldn’t help but remember it. He didn’t really want to, but with how things were now, there was no avoiding it.   
  
“Fuck,” he cursed, scrubbing his face roughly with one palm. He honestly didn’t know what to feel, had already ran out of things to say when he didn’t even know where to begin.   
  
This was all kinds of fucked up and he knew this was just the beginning.

  

++ 

 

“So what do we do now?” he said when he was finished cursing. He at least felt a little better, though not __that__  much better. He stared at the tabloid and still felt that huge urge to burn it and be happy about it. 

“We wait,” his manager said. “Damage control can only do so much when, three days before this tabloid’s official release, the news is already flooding the internet.” 

“Why wasn’t I being summoned to, you know?” he said, pointing up to the ceiling. 

His manager shook his head. “They said this is nothing, compared to the ones that came before this, you know the photos back in –“ 

“Hatori-san, you don’t need to mention it everytime.” he groaned, feeling like he ought to be pissed at the older man but couldn’t find the strength nor the reason to feel that way, especially not towards the man who stood by him especially through those admittedly worst parts of his life. 

“Um, sorry.” 

He waved a hand at his manager dismissively, throat closing up at the thought with regards to how the others would react to all these. 

“A-Are the other members already been informed about t-this?” he asked. 

There was a space of about two heartbeats before his manager answered. 

“No,” his manager said, giving him enough reason to hope that he could still talk to the others, let them hear everything straight from his lips before they were informed but then the older man quickly followed it with, “We didn’t need to. They found out about this on the internet an hour before we got the official copy,” 

_Fuck,_ then Nino already knew? God damn it all to hell. “ _Fuck.”_

“I’m sorry.” 

Putting his head in between his hands, he muttered, “Where are they now?”

 

++ 

 

Fifteen minutes and three cups of black coffee after, he stepped into a very quiet green room with his heart in his throat. 

Aiba and Sho were sitting next to each other, quiet for once, separately reading two separate newspapers, while Jun was doing stretches behind the couch. 

Nino was, he realized, curled on the one-seater sofa, headphones jammed into his ears, feigning sleep. 

“G-Guys,” he called from the doorway, addressing everyone though his gaze was mostly locked on Nino and the very visible twitch of Nino’s shoulders when he spoke. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

Jun stood from the floor and reached over to tug one of Nino’s earphones out. Nino threw Jun a glare that would have sent other people into hiding but Jun simply ignored him. 

“Sure,” Jun agreed without missing a beat and making himself comfortable on the couch’s arm that Nino was sitting at. “Do we need to lock the door or -?” 

“I already did,” he said, breathing air back into his lungs before he started walking the few steps towards them, nodding sagely at Aiba and Sho. 

His gaze meet Nino’s and saw something in Nino’s eyes that made him cringe; he felt helpless, unsure, and for one terrifying second, he realized he couldn’t breathe. 

Willing the air back into his lungs, he stepped forward and wished there was some other way to do this but he knew that there was none. It’s this or hurt those people who mean the world to him and the last thing he wanted was that. 

He stared at Nino and knew that he’d choose death over that any day.  Over hurting Nino again because he knew he couldn’t, he refused to.

  

++ 

 

There really weren’t much to say, or admit, if he wanted to be completely honest about it. Questions were thrown his way, one after the other, and he made sure to give them the honest of answers, vaguely feeling like it was 2008 all over again. 

Because now, just like that year when his first ‘scandal’ hit the front pages of that same tabloid magazine, Nino wasn’t talking. 

“So you’re saying that the person on these photos isn’t the same one… __here__?” Aiba asked, pointing at the photo of himself walking behind a lady and then to his phone where the photos of another was on the screen. 

He shrugged, then squinted at the face of the girl glaring at him from Aiba’s phone. “They look completely different to me,” he said. He didn’t bother following it with __but I do recognize the one on the phone__ , because he didn’t think it would be received quite well at this moment. 

“Then how did she end up there -” Jun this time, pointing at the photo of him and the lady trekking their way up the stairs; “with you?” 

“She _ _wasn’t__  with me,” he pointed out for what seemed like the fifth time, wondering if he sounded more than a little frustrated and annoyed than he would have wanted his voice to be. “I’m telling you, I don’t know her,” 

“But this one here?” Aiba asked, pointing at his phone again, showing him, them, a different picture this time. It was a photo of himself, posing at the camera with the fish he caught, wearing a huge hat and yellow sunglasses; something clicked in his head and suddenly, he remembered this one, of course, because it was the trip he took a few months ago, to Atami. Aiba swiped the screen and another photo replaced the one before it, small but still painfully recognizable. 

It was him and the girl who posted the photos, goggles on their faces, close but not close enough for it to be kind of scandalous while they were in the water. 

His eyes widened in recognition and he gaped, squinting at the photo like it would miraculously disappear if he looked hard enough. 

It didn’t. 

A gasp escaped someone else’s throat and he didn’t even need to check who it came, because the person was also up on his feet in an instant before any of them could react. 

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Nino announced to the room at large, hefting his work bag up his shoulder on his way to the door.

  

++

 

He stepped into the apartment to the sound of an unfamiliar tune being played on Nino’s piano. 

The sudden feeling of déjà vu was so overwhelming he found himself leaning heavily against the door, fingers tightly clutching the front of his shirt at the memory of something so painfully familiar came crashing back to him like riptide. 

It took him more than a couple of minutes to gather his strength, enough to command himself to walk the rest of the way from the door and past the genkan, heart pounding hard through his ribcage. He reached the entrance to the living room where the sound was louder, clearer, and his chest ached yet again. 

Dropping his work bag carelessly to the floor, he willed his heavy legs forward, hoping his strength was enough to take him closer to the man he’d hurt so badly without meaning to.

  

 ++

  

He didn’t bother stopping by the door the same way Nino did then, as he quickly opted on crossing the short distance between him and Nino by sitting next to Nino on the bench while Nino played. 

Nino seemed to be not paying attention, but it was so evident in the way Nino sat stiffly, the way he pressed on the piano keys hard while he played told him that Nino was hurting and he was hurting bad. 

And it was all his fucking fault. 

“Nino –“ 

Nino’s fingers on the keys stilled, and the music stopped. "I...I'm so -" 

“Save the apologies for later, Leader,” Nino said, tightly, not even daring sparing him a glance.  “For now, you are going to explain everything to me and I am going to listen,” 

He frowned. “Haven’t I already done that?” 

Nino pursed his lips but gave no indication that he was to be persuaded. “No.” 

“Alright, then,” he agreed, eyeing the tiny space between their sides and aching with the urge to cross it. It’s been a whole day since he’d  last touched Nino, almost a full day since he’d had the opportunity to touch any part of Nino he could reach and the ache was gnawing at him he wondered how long he’d be able to stand it before he snapped. 

Nino’s hands hovered over the piano keys and he watched, awed, the way Nino’s small fingers slid delicately over the keys as if they were something so precious, breakable, vulnerable. 

Just like Nino himself. 

“Who was that girl?” Nino asked, out of the blue, so suddenly that he felt his blood rushed to his head. It took him more than a few seconds, and at least a couple of times breathing in, then out, to calm himself down. 

It's now or never. “Remember the Captain of the boat that used to charter those fishing trips for me?” Nino nodded. “That girl is his niece.” 

“You _dated_ her?” 

His fingers come up to massage his suddenly throbbing temple, trying to find the right words, the right things to say. 

“Once, maybe twice,” he answered, lowly, chest constricting at the way Nino’s mouth curled bitterly at the edges the minute those words were out of his mouth. “The Captain was the one who insisted it, and well, I thought then, why not try it?” he said. 

Nino remained eerily quiet and he took that as a cue to continue. “We… you and I weren’t back together then when I agreed to go on those few dates with her, Nino,” he clarified, wanting to cross the distance between them, to tug Nino close to him and tell him there was no one else in his life but the younger man. But he couldn’t do that, couldn’t afford to come too close, too fast because he was afraid how Nino would react. 

If Nino pulled away when he reached out, he knew it would break his heart so he didn't. It was hard enough to be this close to Nino and not touch him and he didn't want one more thing to add up to that misery settling over his being like second skin. 

There was something behind Nino’s eyes that spoke volume, something in the way Nino directed his gaze at him that made things in his chest tight. 

“You said there was __no__  one else even when we were apart,” Nino returned, softly, too soft that he had to strain hard just to hear him. “You said –“ Nino’s voice trailed, his tone miserable as was the look on his face. 

_Fuck_ this. He was reaching over before he could stop himself, rounding a hand at the back of Nino’s neck and pulling Nino to him, tighter and closer till there wasn’t even a tiny distance separating him from the man he was still madly in love with.

 

 ++

 

“So you went on a fishing date with her,” Nino said, into his shoulder; he chuckled and pressed a tiny, apologetic kiss against Nino’s forehead as he run his fingers through Nino’s hair. 

“How could you even call that a date if there are like, six, maybe more people with us?” he said, grateful that he could still remember that trip clearly. “You remember that trip I went to a few months ago? The one where the storm struck and we almost drown – “ 

“Yes,” Nino said, almost too quickly. “What about it?” 

“I think the photos of me and her, you know with the goggles on? I think that was taken there.” 

Nino was shoving him away so quick, squinting at him in a way that made him shiver. “She went with you that day?!” 

He tugged Nino back, ignoring Nino’s whines of protests. “I didn’t know she was going to be there, alright?” he returned, pressing another kiss into Nino’s hair. “and there was nothing between us so I really didn’t care. I was there to fish, not to rekindle an old flame –“ 

“So there was actually something to rekindle, then?!” 

“ – that never even managed to be lit upon because I was and still is, wholeheartedly, hopelessly, _down-to-the-bones_ in love with you,” he finished, ignoring Nino’s jibe and the bite on Nino’s tone. God, how he love this jealous, brat of a man so much it was ridiculous sometimes. 

“I honestly didn’t know she’d be there, Nino,” he said, rubbing Nino’s  back soothingly. “But it would be rude to tell the Captain that I’d stay back just because she was there, right? So I didn’t. And actually, it was my idea to take that trip, but I told the Captain to take us some place we haven’t gone to yet, so he took us to Atami. It seemed like I was the only one who hadn’t visited the place so it was cool. A few hours we spent on swimming, while the others were fishing. I… yeah, I remembered she came to me for a few minutes, asking me how I was doing and I told her everything’s great. That was it. Someone obviously took the picture and gave it to her,” 

“That is the lamest lie ever,” Nino grunted, but it lacked it’s supposed bite so he guessed Nino believed him. 

“It’s not a lie,” he countered, tilting Nino’s head and kissing the corners of Nino’s mouth. “I’m telling the truth.” 

Nino harrumphed, then. “What about the truth behind your drawing of the pug?” 

He sighed. “I admit, the other was hers,” 

“What?” 

“The pug. I drew it half-black, and half-white, right?” he said, fingering Nino’s fringe. “The other half, which was the black one, it was hers. The white half was from Machida-kun’s,” 

“So it’s true, then?” 

“The pug?” he asked, then, “Well, yes? I met her way  back, Nino, and the reason I drew the pug was because I found her pet cute. But I didn’t want to draw a full black one so when someone told me Machida has one too, I asked him if I could take a picture of it. So it was actually based on two pugs, not one,” 

“Goodness, your answers seriously don’t make sense,” Nino said, but despite that, despite the fact that Nino was still hurt, he knew Nino was giving him a chance to prove to Nino that he was not lying, most of all to Nino. 

“How come?” he grunted, shifting a little so he could dig his nose into Nino’s hair. “I told her I’d give her a copy of the drawing once it’s done. Then the exhibition happened so instead of giving her a copy, I gave her a complimentary photobook instead,” 

Nino stilled for a moment and murmured, “So that’s was what was shown on the other photo with the reflection of the photobook in it,” 

“Huh?” 

Nino unburied his face against his chest and squinted at him. “This isn’t going to end here, Satoshi,” Nino said, fingering the sides of Ohno’s jaw. “Photos of you with her are already flooding the internet as we speak so you’d have to  brace yourself on the impact this will cause in a matter of hours,” 

He nodded. He really wasn’t looking forward to it, much more with the fact that they have a scheduled tour in a few days too. 

Nino touched his face and tugged him down for a kiss, soft and reassuring. “But don’t worry, okay?” Nino said, smiling like the earlier dilemma didn’t happen and staring at him as if he meant every word. He knew Nino did. “God, you’re lucky I love you,” 

He smiled and kissed Nino back. “As I love you,”

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another sort of filler.

He settles on the couch, taking the journal with him - this time it is number 8 - and waits until Ohno joins him there before he flips it open. 

He could but he wouldn't, because he promised Ohno the last time Ohno found him shaking and sobbing in the dark, reading his way through the journals as if he can't still believe that he and Ohno are together again. 

It's stupid but Ohno knows it would be stupider to expect him not to read the journals again so Ohno didn't bother stopping him. Instead, Ohno said he wanted to be there when the urge to read the entries strikes again, to hold his hand, cry with him if he has to. 

It's stupid but it's also sweet and equal-parts wonderful to have someone like Ohno who loves him unconditionally like this, and for that he is glad. 

"Which entry?" he asks, though he realizes he already found the one he wants to read through this time around. It's the one he wrote on Christmas day, about the night before - the night of Aiba's birthday, the night he spent the rest of it hugging Aiba's toilet because he got drunk way too early. Contrary to people's knowledge, he doesn't forget things he did even when he's drunk out of his mind, and the only other time he tried that didn't even work.   

Ohno hums and turns on his side, burying his nose against the fabric of his threadbare shirt. 

"Which number is it?" Ohno asks. 

"Eight," he says, running his fingers through Ohno's hair. 

Ohno seems to think about it for a whole minute before he answers. 

"So, December?" 

He nods, and remembers Ohno can't actually see him. "Yes." 

"New Years," Ohno says, without missing a beat and he honestly wonders how it's even possible for him to still feel this way when he knows he doesn't have any reason to anymore. Ohno is here with him, they're together, and whatever pain he suffered during the past year they were apart is slowly being healed by Ohno's presence, with the fact that he goes to bed with the older man at night and wakes up with Ohno curled around him too. "You wrote something about that night, yeah?" 

A beat. "No," 

Ohno looks up from his lap, brows furrowed. "Really? Why?" 

He lowers the journal next to him and tries his hardest to think about what exactly happened that night. He knows it, can still remember everything about that night clearly, especially the way it ended, sprawled on his ass on his kitchen floor, sobbing like a child while he talked on the phone. 

It was the time he accidentally and stupidly dialed Jun's number instead, the only other time he allowed himself to forget something he did while drunk because he didn't want Jun to realize that he remembers it. 

It was too painful to even think about it then, too embarrassing to imagine it now but then again, he can't help but wonder if it would have turned for the better if he really did manage to call Ohno's number then instead of Jun's. Though, he can't be sure if it'd turn out the way it did if that happened. He was still pretty much hurt then, afterall and he doubts if he or Ohno would even believe what the other said while drunk. 

They had to wait a few months more after that, well Ohno did, but he guesses it's fine, especially with how things turned out for them. He wouldn't have it any other way, anyway. 

Though now. "Do you remember what happened that night?" he asks, in lieu of saying something that he knows will end up with him embarrassing himself further. 

Ohno tilts his head and grabs his hand, tugging on it and threading their fingers together. 

"I walked you home and -" Ohno pauses here, looking up at him thoughtfully. "You shoved me away," 

He chuckles mirthlessly, ducking down despite the angle to give Ohno a kiss. "I didn't," he says, "Your memory's so bad, old man," 

Ohno seems to consider this before he speaks again. "Fine, you didn't. But I was waiting for you to invite me in, which you didn't," 

"You expect me to invite you in when just the simple fact that I was standing next to you then is painful enough to kill me?" 

"You think you were the only one?" 

He shakes his head. "I didn't know it at the time," he says, tapping the tips of Ohno's nose tenderly. "If I had known, I would have dragged you with me and -" 

"I ended up sprawled against some corner near your apartment's building, crying like a lunatic," Ohno says, confesses, and it the sudden confession is enough to cut him off curtly, enough to make his breath catch. "Then instead of going home straight to my parents' house the same way I promised you, I went to a bar and drank myself to oblivion. I don't even remember how I managed to get home because the next morning when I woke up, I was in my old room with my mother," 

"Oh-chan -" 

"That night was the worst night ever, Nino," Ohno says, fingers tightening around his own. "I thought that I was doing better all along, but then I walked you home and you didn't even look at me twice when I walked away and my heart just went _ _, ah, it's over; it's finally over__ , and that was the most painful thing ever. I thought I was over you, I thought I was doing a hell of a lot better without you but then that night happened and I realized I wasn't... that I probably never would. And I was right," 

There's a lump in his throat when he tries to speak, realizes his eyes are blurred with tears and his cheeks damp with it too when Ohno reaches up to brush the moisture away at the same time Ohno pushes himself upright and gathers him in the older man's arms. 

"I called you that night," he says, into Ohno's neck. 

Ohno stills and pushes him a bit away. "What?" 

He finds a smile for Ohno despite his tears, fingering the edges of Ohno's mouth and smoothing the confusion away with the pads of his fingers. 

"I did," he admits, "I reached home and the first thing I did was drink, then when I was drunk enough, I called you. I told you then that I love you, begging you to take me back but -" 

"I didn't ... I didn't receive anything, I swear -" 

"Of course," he says, knowing that fact too well. "Because despite the fact that I knew I called you, I was wrong. I accidentally dialed Jun's number," 

"Oh. Oh?" 

He nods. "Yeah," he admits. "Jun, luckily didn't mention it again, because I would have died of embarrassment," 

"He should have told me, at the very least," Ohno says, bitterly; "I would have done something if I had known -" 

"I know," he says, leaning up for a kiss because he can, because it's what he knows he can do to convince himself that everything he wants and need is just right here, and that it's never going to change because Ohno promised him. "But I do believe that there's a reason for everything. Maybe it wasn't the right time for us to get back together again yet, maybe," 

Ohno seems to take it all in stride and smiles, cups his cheeks and presses a kiss into his mouth, sweet and soft and tender. 

"I guess it's fine, then," Ohno says, kissing him again and again. "You're mine now, that's all that matters," 

"Yeah," he agrees, because how can he not? "Yeah, I'm yours," 

"Forever?" 

He smiles and this time, he's the one who insists for a kiss, and another. _"Forever."_

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the Miyagi Blast reports regarding stupid fans acting stupidly over Ohno's supposedly stupid girl friend scandal. Stupid chapter. At least there's Ohmiya.

The crowd’s cheer is loud and deafening that it should be enough to assure him but it doesn’t. Even now, even after the few days of mental preparation, he still feels relatively scared. 

A hand slips into his own and the warmth of those fingers threading against his own are as familiar as the press of lips against the side of his temple. He closes his eyes and leans in to the touch. 

“You’re going to be fine.” Nino breathes into his skin before Nino’s other hand goes to the back of his head, pulling him down so he can rest his forehead against Nino’s. He’s scared, and it’s not to say that he’s worried for himself, but for Arashi. 

He fucked up and now he’s not sure how big the impact of his mistake is going to cost them. 

A gentle, almost teasing slap to the back of his head is what startles him the minute after, raising his head to find Jun’s exasperatedly fond smile waiting for him. 

“What, he’s crying already?” Jun says, at the same time he realizes Aiba and Sho are there too. “Come on, Leader, we haven’t even started yet and you’ve already went on ahead with the waterworks? Jesus, do you want me to go out there and tell the fans to wait a few more minutes until you’re calm enough to make it to the stage without bawling?” Jun follows jokingly, feeling Nino’s hand squeezing his reassuringly. 

“So dramatic, Leader,” Aiba coos, rounding the other way and standing to his other side, throwing an arm over his shoulders and squeezing him tight. “Come on, give our fans a little credit, will you? There might be a few who will give you the stinky eye but whatever, Sho-chan and Jun-chan and Nino-chan will deal with them while we ignore them, yeah?” 

He’s not sure if his heart is strong enough to take it if he really does get those stinky-eye from the fans but he gets that he owes it to the other fans, to the staffs, to Arashi – to Nino and Aiba and Jun and Sho – to be tough enough and carry on despite the worries eating at him from the inside and out. 

Sho reaches over and taps him on the shoulder. “You’re our Leader, Satoshi-kun,” Sho says, and the lump that formed in his throat is so huge now he can barely breathe past it. “and no matter what happens, we’re going to stand behind you. That isn’t going to change.” 

He nods and nods again, reaching up to clamp his fist tightly against Sho’s before three more hands follow, letting him borrow the strength they all know he needed. 

“So shall we?” Jun asks, eyeing the four of them one by one. He nods at the same time Aiba and Sho turns, Jun following shortly after, leaving him and Nino, obviously giving them a few precious seconds alone, safely hidden behind their bandmates’ backs. 

Nino’s hands are on his face, Nino’s mouth merely a breath away from his own. “You’re not going out there alone, remember that, okay?” Nino whispers into his mouth before Nino kisses him. It only lasted for about five, six seconds but it is enough. He nods and lets himself be hugged. 

“Let’s go!”

 

++ 

 

Almost an hour after and the adrenaline rush he almost always gets whenever they’re performing live should have been enough to take his mind off of things but it’s not. It doesn’t help that he knows the other four are obviously trying their level best to back him up, finding himself always with a member tailing after him as if they’re afraid he’ll bolt. 

“Costume change, come on, come on!” he hears the staffs roaring and the next thing he sees is Nino charging his way to the backstage, already missing his shirt. They’re up in five minutes after Sho’s solo performance. 

He’s already on standby when a presence backs him against the wall he is previously leaning into, and Nino’s hands – soft and a little rough and familiar – are on his face, Nino’s mouth kissing his closed eyelids. 

“You’re doing good, Oh-chan,” Nino breathes into his skin and kisses him, soft and quick, the semi-darkness the only witness to the lone tear he sheds that Nino’s lips chased away the second it fell from his eyes. “One more hour,” Nino whispers as he threads their fingers together, “you can do it,” Nino says. 

He nods and forces a smile that he wishes is reassuring enough. 

There’s nothing else left for him but that, after all.

 

++ 

 

He spies a girl holding an uchiwa saying, **You’re the worst, Leader!**

He turns around just as Nino comes up behind him, arms branding around him from behind and tickling him. 

“Ignore it.” Nino mutters, under his breath, tickling him again. Jun and Sho and Aiba waving at him from different sides of the stage. 

He sighs and allows himself to smile.

  

++ 

 

When he gets to the front, his fingers are shaking along with the rest of him, his knees threatening to give out but he mans up. He has to. There’s no room for failure now and he knows it. 

He can’t see them but he knows that the other fours’ attentions are on him, that they won’t think twice of standing next to him, behind him if they think he needs it. 

He raises his hand holding the mic, at the same time he holds his head high and wishes it is enough for them – the fans and those people who came there today – to see how sorry he is. 

He clears his throat and wills the words to come, swallowing past the lump that has formed in his throat. 

“I hope… you all will continue… to follow and support us.” he starts, meeting the audiences’ eyes and prays it is enough.

 

++ 

 

When he stumbles back in to shower, Nino is already there. 

Shoulders shaking, he grapples for something solid to hold on to and finds Nino’s hips, mashing his face against the dip of Nino’s neck as he sobs quietly into Nino’s skin. Nino holds him, holds him, holds him, backing them against the stall’s wall as he folds himself against Nino, hearing the occasional hums from the back of Nino’s throat as Nino runs his fingers through his damp hair. 

He’s not sure what prompted it (or maybe he knows but, whatever) but he feels so fucking emotional, like he’s not sure if he still deserves to be here, to be up there on stage with the others when this isn’t the first time he’d managed to taint Arashi’s name because of his stupidity. He clings unto Nino and lets Nino’s presence anchor him down, let’s Nino’s touch calm the painful churn in his chest as he cries. 

“Nino –“ 

Nino’s hand is on his cheek, tilting his face up and thumbing the moisture away. 

A sob hitches itself from the center of his chest and he lets it, lets Nino’s touch heal him the way it always does. He leans in further into Nino and the warmth of Nino’s body tells him he’s never going to have to deal with anything alone, the tiny, beautiful smile curling the edges of Nino’s mouth is like a tender balm around his aching heart. 

He doesn’t know how to tell Nino that his presence alone is enough for him to keep going; he knows he doesn’t need to tell Nino these things but he wants to, to let Nino know that he cares so little about how the world view him so long as Nino is here, so long as Nino is there to welcome him home. 

“I –“ he says, or at least starts to, but Nino doesn’t let him. 

“I love you, okay?” Nino whispers, pressing their mouths together, soft and chaste, tender and reassuring. “No matter what happens, no matter where we end up in, I’ll always _love_ you. Don’t you ever forget that.” 

He wouldn’t; he can’t. “Thank you,” he says, breathing the words into Nino’s mouth. “I love you.” 

Nino nods and kisses him back. “I know you do, Oh-chan,” Nino says, “I know you do.” 

It is enough.

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Supposedly 2-part chapter. Nino plans something to cheer Ohno up. Sex in the car ensues. (Thanks to Aiba-chan and J)

“Are you sure you want to do this now?” is what Jun tells him when he proposed his idea over the unplanned late-night drink they’re sharing now. It’s actually not his fault that Jun found him loitering the hallways in his grandma pajamas in search for ice because Ohno had been so tired to do it for him.   


“Not now now,” he returns, picking up his glass and taking a generous swig from it. “I mean, since it’s almost two in the morning and we have another concert scheduled for tomorrow,”   


Jun reaches over and hits him. “I know that, stupid,” Jun says, eyeing him warily as he rubs at his abused temple, murmuring something about bruises; Jun ignores him. “What I mean is, you want to do it after we filmed our segment? What if someone recognizes you or Leader?”   


“I’ll have him put on a disguise that not even his mother will be able to recognize him,” he says, lamely, and grins at Jun’s answering grimace. “No seriously, don’t worry about it. I already made an arrangement, I’m sure no one is going to think that it’s us even if someone sees us,”   


Jun gives him a long look before he heaves a sigh. “Fine, whatever,”   


“So, you’ll help me?” he asks, eager.   


“It’s not like I have that much of a choice,” Jun returns, trying to sound like he’s not secretly swooning but Nino knows him long enough to know that Jun digs  the idea far more than he lets on.   


But for his benefit, he decides not to call Jun out on it and opts on raising his glass and bumping it against Jun’s own.   


“You’re the best, J, I swear,”   


Jun rolls his eyes to the heaven and takes a swig of his beer himself.

 

 ++

    


It’s been almost an hour since they wrapped up the filming, almost a full hour since he’d been here, stuck in his manager’s van while he fiddles and pokes and stares at his phone like a lunatic. He knows he should be at least getting a text or a call from Jun by now (since he was done with filming half an hour before Ohno did) but all he received was a lame message of complaint from Aiba saying a bunch of grandmas groped him in the supermarket while he was buying beer.   


He ignored it in favor of sending Jun another text.   


J, where the hell are you?, he types and hits send before he can even stop himself. When he looks out the window, he realizes it is almost dark so he quickly gets out of the van to light up the few rechargeable lamps he brought along with him.   


He’s just turned on the last one when another van pulls over, Jun and Aiba getting down simultaneously.   


“What the  - where’s Oh-chan?!” he grits almost too loudly that must have scared the early evening cicadas off, storming to meet Jun and Aiba halfway. “I thought I told you to –“ he hisses, or at least starts to but Jun’s hand is quickly there to muffle the rest of his complains, covering his mouth to shut him up. Aiba then goes to his other side and puts him in a headlock.   


“Look at this ungrateful brat, mouthing us off before we even tell him what’s going on, hmmm,”   


“Get off, you oaf, ugh, you smell like a bar’s back alley!” he complains, shoving Aiba off but Aiba barely flinches. “Get off me, I said!” he grunts, valiantly trying to wriggle out of Aiba’s vice-like grip as he watches Jun starts to put down a couple of grocery bags down, three six-packs of beer and a sleeping bag.   


“What –“   


“Will you please shut up for a moment and let us explain?” Jun says, rolling his eyes to the heaven. He then points at the car and Nino has to squint hard, following where Jun’s pointing at. He swears the only thing he sees is a lump of something unrecognizable curled up against the passenger’s seat and bundled up in what seemed like a hundred of sweaters.   


“You told us to pick up a few things on our way here so we stopped by the supermarket first,” Jun says by way of explanation, pointing at the grocery bags and the beer which is now being placed in the cooler by Aiba.   


“We left Leader in there and told him he can nap for a bit but when we came back, he was fast asleep so we figured we should just leave him alone. And then I realized you guys might want to take this impromptu camping seriously so I asked Matsujun to drive us into a shop where they’re selling those camping gears. So I got you guys a sleeping bag and thick socks and a huge blanket to keep you guys warm during the night. They’re all in the back, by the way,” Aiba finishes as he closes the cooler’s lid and goes to start the barbeque fire. “See, I did all of that for you guys, don’t you love me?”   


He snorts, though he is pretty sure it only came out a little wobbly. Seriously, his friends are such wonderful people he sometimes wonders what he did in his past life to deserve them.   


“Shut up, Masaki or Nino would end up crying like a school girl,” Jun teases but he takes note of the fact that Jun’s eyes looks overly bright too and there’s that sentimental look on his face that makes him look so much younger than his age. Nino wants to tug him into his arms and ruin his hair just to piss him off, the same way they always do when they were younger.   


He wants to say a lot of things, tell Jun and Aiba how much he appreciates their help but he knows that right now, words aren’t needed. He simply bows his head and keeps it that way until he feels two pairs of warm arms around him before he receives two simultaneous slaps in the back as Aiba and Jun pulls away.   


“I’ve already started the fire for you,” Aiba announces as he ducks down and grabs the take out bags of meat and others, handing them over to him. “There’s a thermos with hot water in the back and we bought instant miso soup for you too. There’s coffee too if you prefer drinking that,”   


“Guys –“   


“I’m sure Leader is about to wake up any minute now so we better go,” it is Jun this time, handing over the keys to the van and asking for the keys for the other van he drove earlier. “Just make sure to return this van before lunch tomorrow, okay?”   


He nods, knowing that’s the only thing he’s capable of as he hands over the keys without a word. Aiba and Jun exchanges a meaningful glance  before Jun rolls his eyes and mutters, “I’ll go on ahead first, see you tomorrow,” watching him saunters off at the same time Aiba steps forward and thrusts a smaller, girly-looking pouch to his chest.   


“What –“   


“Emergency supplies!” Aiba announces breathily before he steps away. “For when things get serious, you know? Safety first, of course! See you and Leader tomorrow, Nino-chan!” Aiba waves, leaving him gaping at his longest friend’s back before he remembers to check the pouch.   


He swears he is sputtering curses the minute he unzips the pouch and finds a few packets of condom and a tube of strawberry-flavoured lube inside, almost dropping the contents on the ground with a curse.   


“God damn that moron,” he mutters, feels like his face is on fire as he quickly zips the pouch and shoves it hastily into his jacket pocket.   


He turns just in time to spy Ohno squinting from inside the van and allows himself a smile.

  


++  


  


He pulls the van’s door open and is treated with the sight of Ohno’s adorably messy hair and sleepy eyes.   


“N-Ni-no?”   


He grins and steps inside to give Ohno a kiss hello. The older man simply leans into his kiss and he is humming into the older man’s mouth before he can even stop himself, fingers reaching up to cradle the side of Ohno’s neck. When he pulls away, he is smiling and so is Ohno.   


“Had a good nap?” he asks, brushing the hairs away from Ohno’s eyes and pressing two more kisses to the side of Ohno’s mouth.   


“Hmmm,” Ohno hums in return, leaning in further to his touch. “I thought I was with Jun-kun and Aiba-chan,”   


“You were,” he answers, pulling away completely and helping Ohno out of the sweaters he is currently swaddle in.  “they just left,”

Ohno doesn’t say anything and just stays dutifully still as he peels the few layers of clothing off the older man, torn between amusement and annoyance at his friends’ apparent kindness in keeping their Leader warm as he sleeps. This isn’t the first time this happened, afterall, and the first time he was too damn aroused finding Ohno collapsed on their greenroom couch at eleven in the evening that he foregone relieving Ohno off his multiple shirts and just left them as they were, only vaguely glad that Ohno only had two sweatpants on so he was able to just tug it down as he went straight into sucking Ohno off once he has uncover Ohno’s cock from the layers of clothing he was wearing.   


Sex is the last thing on his mind right now, though, because today is officially the ‘cheer Ohno up day’ and that’s exactly what he will do. Well, he’s pretty sure Ohno will appreciate the sex too but they can always do that at home, but not this. So sex will have to wait for now, grinning and blushing at the thought of having emergency supplies tucked in the pockets of his jacket.   


“Left where?” Ohno asks after a long moment, once he is down with just his own pair of shirt and pants. “And where are we anyway?”   


“Back to the hotel, somewhere where no one is going to interrupt us,” he says with a grin, throwing the sweaters to the  back of the van and kissing the tips of Ohno’s nose. “To answer both your questions,”   


“Eh?”   


He takes Ohno’s hand and threads their fingers together, tugging Ohno up and out of the van. Outside, the sky is already dark.   


“Come on, Oh-chan,” he says, pulling Ohno and grinning when he spies the corners of Ohno’s mouth twitch once his gaze settles on the blanket spread on the ground, a heater sitting next to it before his eyes darts to the cooler standing next to the barbeque grill.   


“What –“

He sidles next to the older man and throws his arm around Ohno’s waist. “My first plan was to take you out on a boat to fish but since I probably won’t even make it a few meters away from the dock before I start puking my intestines out, so I figured it’s better to do this. This way, no one’s going to get sick and we can just laze around eating yakiniku and drinking beer,”

“Nino –“

He turns and gives Ohno a smile that would have made a whole arena of fangirls into a shrieking fit, heart melting at the sight of Ohno’s fond smile and overly-bright eyes.   


“Wanna go camping with me, Oh-chan?”   


Ohno blinks at him once, twice, before he realizes he is being tugged into Ohno’s arms, Ohno’s face warm and familiar as Ohno tucks it against the side of his neck.

“Of course, of course,” Ohno mutters into his skin, “Thank you, Kazu,”   


He slides his palm around the back of Ohno’s neck, simply basking on the feeling of this closeness he knows he won’t ever get tired ever.   


“Anything for you, Oh-chan,” he whispers, turning to press his mouth against the side of Ohno’s temple. “anything for my Oh-chan,”   


Ohno melts further into him and he swears all the effort he put up into this is all worth it. So worth it.

 

 ++

 

“So where are we again?” Ohno asks through a mouthful of meat he managed to shove into Ohno’s mouth two seconds ago.

“Chew, swallow, then speak,” he tells Ohno, tapping the tips of Ohno’s nose with his thumb. Ohno pouts but otherwise does as he’s told. He gives Ohno a smile and hands over the mug of steaming miso soup while he sips on his own.   


“Are we in a private forest or something?” Ohno asks after a moments, opening his mouth dutifully when he offers another serving of meat.   


“Something like that, yes,” he answers, only briefly glancing at the meat and the veggies he puts on the grill. “it’s actually a very private property,”   


Ohno turns confusedly at him. “Are you sure we’re not going to get in trouble for being here?”   


He snorts. “Don’t worry, I have the owner’s permission,” he tells Ohno, shoving another spoonful of tomato into Ohno’s mouth.   


“Did you rent this, then?”   


He lifts his fingers into his mouth and makes a zipping gesture with a grin. “It’s a secret,”

Ohno narrows his eyes suspiciously at him. “I just hope that if you did, you didn’t use my credit card to pay for it,” Ohno says around a royal pout that makes him crack up in seconds. “What? You did it with the ring! I thought you were giving it to me as a present, then what, I found the exact same amount I bought your ring with in my statement, on the same month too!”   


He turns to hide his snickers into Ohno’s shoulder. “And don’t you dare tell me I was meant to buy the rings anyway and you just helped me choose them, that I was the one who wanted us to marry anyway so I should shoulder the ring expenses, because seriously –“   


“Well, weren’t you the one who wanted to propose to me?” he counters, mouth still tilted into an amused grin. Well, he can’t exactly help it if he’s cheap and Ohno in turn spoils him rotten. He’s just that lucky.   


“Well, yes, but –“   


“See?” he cuts in. Ohno simply rolls his eyes and heaves a sort of defeated sigh. “Fine, whatever,”   


He grins and leans over to peck Ohno’s cheek. “Don’t worry, I didn’t use your credit card this time,”   


A beat. “I feel like I should thank you but I know you’re going to follow it with something I might actually have to expect anyway so, out with it,”   


He giggles. “I don’t have to because this was a gift,” he says, eyes full with mischief. “Even the camping gears and the food we have here? I didn’t buy them. Aiba-chan and J bought them,”   


Ohno looks at him like he’s an alien from outer space, mouth wide and expression funny. “But I planned all of it? So, you know what they say about ‘ _ _it’s the thought that counts?’__  because it is, right?”   


Ohno is silent for a moment before he blurts out into a laughing fit, the miso soup spilling over their pants in the process.   


“Oh god, why am I not surprised? You are so cheap, Nino, oh god, seriously?”   


He snorts and is about to mutter a snarky come back when Ohno is suddenly on his space, Ohno worming a hand round the  back of his head and then he is faceful of Ohno’s smiling face.   


“Whatever,” Ohno murmurs into his mouth, fond and so so pretty, “I love you just the way you are, anyway,” Ohno says before Ohno kisses him.

   


++   


 

They end up lounging on their boxers and sweaters, lying next to each other under the Miyagi sky, pressed close together inside the sleeping bag Aiba-chan bought for them. His feet feels toasty cold despite the thick socks he has on and his nose feels like it’s about to fall off despite digging it into the warm patch of skin of Ohno’s collarbones.   


“It’s cold,” he complains, folding himself closer against Ohno, almost ending up on top of Ohno in his search for more heat. Ohno simply hums and pulls him closer, arms branding around him as he noses at Ohno’s throat.

“The heater’s next to you,” Ohno snorts, and he is probably talking about the heater next to Nino’s head and not the human heater he is sharing space with, but whatever. He’s still cold.   


“If this continues, I might end up either with hypothermia or –“

“Do you want to go back to the hotel?”   


His answer is so quick it must be funny. “What, no!”   


Ohno simply shrugs and gathers him in, offering more of his body heat. “Just asking,” Ohno says, “I wouldn’t want to be blamed if you ended up in the hospital because you’re too weak to stand the cold,” Ohno says into his hair. “which isn’t much, to be honest,”

“Well, forgive me if I’m not like you, Mr. Four Seasons,” he grunts into Ohno’s chest, shuddering involuntarily when he feels Ohno’s fingers, warm and familiar, fanning themselves against the dip of his spine. “Maybe it’ll be okay once you’ve warmed me up?” he suggests innocently.   


Ohno huffs a boisterous laugh into his hair. “You could have just asked me straight away for that,” Ohno says, shifting to his side until they are face to face. “I wouldn’t have minded it anyway,”   


“What?” he asks, frowning. “No, seriously, what?”   


Ohno’s lips tilted into an amused grin, his fingers moving down to caress his stomach through the layers of sweater he is wearing. The fabric separating them is too thick but he swears he can feel the warmth of Ohno’s fingers seeping through the fabric and onto his skin.   


Ohno leans over and pecks him in the mouth. “Oh please, stop lying,” Ohno whispers, his tone suddenly a few octaves lower and his eyes as dark as the sky overhead. “I saw the condom and the lube shoved inside your jacket pocket, Nino,” Ohno says, flicking his tongue out to lick his bottom lip wet. “You couldn’t have been more obvious if you tried,”   


“No, seriously those weren’t –“ he protests, or at least starts to, but Ohno’s mouth is already there to muffle it, swallowing the words he is about to say next as Ohno’s hands drift further down to pull him in by his hips.

    


 ++

 

“Ah, god –“ he groans, hips moving in counter to the bob of Ohno’s head in between his legs. It’s so damn difficult to maneuver in the small space they’re in (they migrated to the back of the van, the van’s heater turned up because he can’t trust himself not to freeze out there despite the fact that Ohno is warming him up by sucking him).   


He watches, dazed, as Ohno pulls his mouth away from his cock so he can twirl his tongue over and around the dripping slit. He takes note of the fact that while doing that, Ohno has the tube of lube in his hand, uncapping it at the same time Ohno lets him go with a curt, “Move your ass off the seat, Kazu,” his tone dripping with want and for one second, he is confused as to what he is being asked until Ohno slaps his leg and points. “Move so I can sit,” Ohno growls, hand around himself and jerking himself to full hardness. “You’re riding me, or have you forgotten?”   


He hasn’t, he wants to say but his brain is reduced to a puddle when the sight of Ohno’s naked and toned, tanned body is so close he can just run his hands over it, of Ohno’s hand on himself as Ohno commands him to prepare himself.   


It’s difficult enough to think of two different things at the same time when his chest is tight and the arousal curling around his thighs is unbearable. He doesn’t  bother coating his fingers with enough lube and just takes some from which Ohno has already spread all over his cock, easing his fingers inside his own body to loosen himself up.   


Ohno watches, eyes lidded heavily as the grip around the head of Ohno’s cock tighten.   


“More,” Ohno groans, watching, just watching, “add one more, come on,” Ohno commands and he obeys without question, throwing his head back at the sharp sensation the moment the tips of his index finger touches that spot inside him that took Ohno only two tries to find. “Fuck, you’re so hot,”   


He keens, twisting his fingers inside himself and gets an almost wounded growl from Ohno, feels Ohno’s fingers grappling his arms and tugging him in.   


“Enough?” Ohno says, into his hair at the same time he pulls his fingers out one by one.   


“Enough,” he answers and goes to sit on Ohno’s lap, his mouth seeking Ohno’s with so little difficulty.

    


++   


 

Ohno is maneuvering him over his cock, both of them grunting in unison when Ohno slides quarter of an inch in, his hips stilling as he lets the burn subside for a moment. Ohno kisses his chin, the side of his mouth, sucking lightly on his throat as Ohno’s hands guides him slow, slow, slow.   


They stop when he’s fully seated on Ohno’s cock, the muscles of his stomach taut when he realized Ohno is as deep into him as he’s ever gonna go.   


He snorts when his gaze darts to the condom lying innocently next to the discarded cap of the lube. Oh well, he thinks dazedly as Ohno experimentally rolls his hips into him, it’s not like they’re used to putting on a condom anyway.   


Apparently, Ohno sees it too. “I’m amazed you brought them with you,” Ohno muses into his collarbones, tongue flicking out to lick at his heated skin. “since you know we seldom –“   


“It’s not me,” he tells Ohno’s hair, arms tight around Ohno’s shoulders. “Those are from Aiba-chan,”   


“Huh?”   


“I was telling you about it but you didn’t want to listen,” he means to complain but it’s too difficult when Ohno is doing that thing with his hips that makes it wholly difficult to even think, much more speak. “I told you – I was telling you –“   


“Later,” Ohno grunts and pushes his hips up a few inches from the seat and the action  brings his cock deeper into Nino’s  body. He moans, broken and raspy and so very turned on, grabbing for purchase on Ohno’s shoulders as Ohno fucks him slow. “ – ‘m busy,”

    


++   


 

So their impromptu camping concludes with Ohno’s cock throbbing hard inside him, his own pulsing in time with the jerk of Ohno’s hip into him as he cries and begs for more, harder, there.   


Ohno gives him what he needs, what he wants, his grip around his hips tight and almost unforgiving, Ohno’s mouth parted slightly in awe and pleasure as his orgasm tears through the surface,  bringing him Ohno and with it.

    


 ++

  


“So,” Ohno hums a few minutes after, fingers sliding into the damp skin of his back.   


“So?” he returns, too tired and too sated to move, the heat of Ohno’s come inside him is enough to make him shudder.   


“This isn’t your typical camping activity, yes?” Ohno asks, sounding wholly amused and very smug about it anyway. “Not that I’m complaining because I’m not, it’s just that –“   


“You enjoyed it, don’t even try to deny it.” he snorts, nuzzling the side of Ohno’s temple and shifting his weight further onto Ohno’s lap. God, he’s so warm and loose-limbed and right now, all he wants is to close his eyes and sleep.   


“Are you going to fall asleep now?” Ohno hums into his neck as he wraps his arms around Ohno, leaning heavily onto Ohno.   


“I might.” he hums back.   


“I’m still inside you.” Ohno reminds him.   


“You can pull out when I’m knocked out,” he suggests, yawning hugely into Ohno’s neck. “Or you can stay if you want, I don’t mind.”   


“Shit, I’m going to end up hard within minutes if you say that.”   


“Whatever, I’m nodding off,” he says, already halfway asleep against Ohno’s shoulder.   


Ohno might have said something in return but he’s not sure anymore, he’s out like a light the moment Ohno whispers, “Weak.” into his neck.

  


 

 


	14. Chapter 14

"How's the throat?" is the first thing Nino asks when he came out of the shower. He shrugs and doesn't bother toweling his hair dry as he goes to sit next to Nino on the couch, worming his arms around Nino's middle and digging his nose against Nino's shoulder blade. " _Jesus_ , your hair is still wet. Won't you dry it first before you decide to cuddle? You're going to wet my shirt -"  
  
"You're warm," he says, ignoring the jibe on Nino's tone. "Aren't we going back to the hotel yet?" he asks after a beat, nuzzling his nose against Nino's threadbare shirt.  
  
Nino chuckles and grabs the towel he discarded earlier, shifting them both until he is pressed heavily against Nino's side as Nino gently towels his hair dry. "I'm not, but you are." Nino says, before he feels the press of something warm and soft against the side of his temple. He smiles despite feeling a little woozy, already feeling so much better now that they're alone and he is with Nino.  
  
"Eh?" he says, popping an eye open when he realizes what Nino had said. "What do you mean?"  
  
Nino leans in presses another kiss to the bridge of his nose. "The cast for the movie will be doing a promotion on Osaka Hall tomorrow evening. We're going to meet an hour from now to talk about what to do and what to say. Manager-san asked me if I want to go, but of course, that's kind of a moot point. Of course I have to be there."  
  
"We were supposed to have dinner, all five of us." he says mournfully against Nino's shirt.  
  
"I know and I'm sorry," Nino tells him, gathering him fast and hugging him tight. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."  
  
"You will?"  
  
Nino pinches his cheek and drops another kiss against the side of his mouth before he pulls completely away. As if on cue, Nino's manager pokes his head from the door and waves a handful of sheets to get Nino's attention before he disappears again. Nino sighs and tugs himself free from Ohno's koala cling, squeezing his shoulder and murmuring something that suspiciously sounded like _Happy birthday, old man_ , before he crouches down to grab his bag.  
  
"Nino?" he calls before Nino gets two steps away from the couch he is still slumped against.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
He reaches up and points a finger to his lips. "Kiss?"  
  
Nino chuckles and shakes his head but he does leans down to indulge him, pressing their mouths together for a gentle, sweet kiss.  
  
Nino straightens up but not before sliding the back of his palm against Ohno's cheek, tender and affectionate. "Don't drink too much, okay?" Nino says. "I'm going to check on you guys whenever I can, but I won't promise. I just. Enjoy your birthday dinner, yeah?"  
  
He nods and takes Nino's hand, pressing a warm kiss against the inside of Nino's palm. "I'll try."  
  
Nino smiles in return and heaves another sigh. "I have to go, okay? I'll see you later."  
  
"Okay," he says, letting Nino go. Nino hesitates for all of two seconds before he leans back down again and kisses him, this time harder, pressing one last kiss into the side of his mouth before he pulls away.  
  
"Bye."  
  
He grins. "See you." he counters, slumping back lazily into the couch as Nino walks off.  
  
+  
  
Three and a half hours after, he is boarding his manager's car after he bid the other three goodbye. He is still feeling a bit under the weather and though he did drink, he only allowed himself a bottle of beer and had simply asked for Oolong tea to keep his company during the next few hours while Sho and Jun and Aiba drank the night away.  
  
An hour after he arrived at the restaurant where they were going to have dinner, Nino had called to check on him, making sure he wasn't about to get himself drunk because _alcohol is not good for your sore throat, old man, so better avoid it for now, okay?_ , so he did, much to the other three's amusement.  
  
"Happy birthday again, Ohno-kun," his manager says the moment he is comfortably sitting next to the older man. "How's the dinner? Did you enjoy it?"  
  
He shrugs. "I'd probably enjoy it more with beer or tequila but Nino told me alcohol's not good for my throat, so -"  
  
"Ah, speaking of which," his manager cuts in and jerks a thumb behind them. "Ninomiya-kun told me to hand that over to you," his manager says, "his first birthday gift, he said."  
  
"Huh?" he cranes his neck to find a big box of something sitting at the backseat, frowning at it for a whole minute before he remembers what his manager had said. "First birthday gift?" he asks, "so you mean there's another one?"  
  
His manager maneuvers the car out of the restaurant's parking lot and onto the quiet streets. "I thinks so," the older man says, "Ninomiya-kun didn't exactly say it but that's what I thought too when he told me it's his first gift. Maybe there's another one, who knows?"  
  
"Hmm," he hums, turning his attention back to the road at the same time his phone vibrates from his pocket. He fishes around for it and finds it on the third try, sliding his thumb across the screen and finding a message from Nino.  
  
From : Nino  
_Did you get my gift?_  
  
  
He grins and starts typing a reply.  
  
_I did. Though I'm not sure what it is yet. I haven't opened it._  
  
  
From : Nino  
_It's an air cleaner. That would be good for your throat, I think._  
  
He smiles, feeling warm all over. Nino is so sweet, gifting him with this thing especially since Nino knows he's not feeling well. So sweet and wonderful and he is so lucky.  
  
_Thank you. Are you done with work now? Are you heading back? Shall I wait for you?_  
  
From: Nino  
_You're welcome. And I am. I'm actually back in the hotel now._  
  
His manager gives him a curious glance but he ignores him as he types another message to Nino.  
  
_Okay. We're almost there, I think. Manager-san is driving me back now. I love you. And thanks again for the gift._  
  
From : Nino  
_Didn't your manager tell you there's another gift waiting for you? So hurry back and get it yourself._  
  
The next message is with an attached photo, and he swears he had just let out a very undignified gasp the moment he scrolls down and saw what it is, the image burns at the back of his eyelids.  
  
It is a photo of Nino on the bed, fully naked, his wrist tied to the hotel room's headboard.  
  
The caption says, _Your gift. Get it while it's hot._  
  
He swallows hard despite the difficulty as he locks his phone and puts back into his pocket.  
  
"What did Ninomiya-kun say? Is there another gift?"  
  
He bites his tongue and refrains from laughing out loud because he feels so hot and it's all Nino's fault.  
  
"No," he says, in lieu of saying something wholly embarrassing. "he just asked when I'll be back because he wants to teach me how to operate that thing." he says, jerking a thumb behind them, to the gift sitting quietly there.  
  
"Oh, okay," his manager says, "tell him we'll be there in about fifteen minutes."  
  
He doesn't, because he knows he won't be able to hold his phone much more type propely without getting an erection.  
  
"It's fine." he says, folding his hands in his lap and trying to chase away the image of Nino's naked body on the bed, waiting for him. It's difficult but he has to try. He has to. That is, if he wants to be able to get out of the car without his manager pulling him back and taking him straight to the hospital because he'll be walking funny.

 

++

 

He vaguely remembers getting out from his manager’s car, his trip from the front entrance of the hotel room where his manager had dropped him off an almost blurry memory, the trip to the room he is occupying for this tour even more so, fingers trembling around his pants’ pockets fishing for his key card and panicking for his life realizing it isn’t there.

His phone vibrates in his pocket then as if on cue. “Fuck, __fuck__  –“ he curses, fingers shaking around his phone when he finally manages to grab it, almost dropping it, cursing colorfully again as he realizes who is calling. He at least able to unlock the screen and accepts the call, slapping his phone into his ear with a muffled, “ _ _Yeah__?” though it sure sounded more whimper-like even in his own ears.

“Satoshi, where the hell are you?” hums Nino from the other end, tone low and husky despite how terribly annoyed he probably is at the moment. “Fuck, how long are you going to make me wait?”

He hisses, leaning heavily against the wall and staring mournfully at the door. “I’m already here but I can’t fucking come in because my key card’s –“

“The door’s open, you dumb ass,” Nino counters around a breathy whimper and he swears he’ll kill himself right then and there if Nino’s not doing the sexy voice on purpose. Also, why in hell Nino is able to open his fucking hotel room door when there’s only one set of keys – oh god damn it all, that _thief_ \-  “so get your ass in here quickly  before I decide to finish myself and leave you to deal with your own hard on, which I am fairly sure -” he reaches for the knob and hangs up.

  

+

 

He is only on his boxers the moment he reached the bedroom, hissing something unintelligible under his breath the second his eyes settle on Nino’s lithe and naked form on the bed. He’s still hissing unintelligible things under his breath when he pushes his boxers down his hips, kicking it all the way off before crossing the short distance between him and Nino on the bed.

The bed dips with his weight when he jumps on it, arousal coiling tight in his stomach the moment he is able to grab the nearest part of Nino he can reach. Finding Nino’s legs first, he crawls his way up with a quiet whimper, eyes locked on Nino’s face for a few lingering seconds before his attention rivets to the fucking blue ribbon tied around the base of Nino’s hard cock, and the yellow one that Nino used to tie his right wrist onto the headboard.

“Satoshi –“ mutters Nino when he’s close enough, chest constricting with so many things at once as he settles over Nino’s body and dips his head down for a kiss. He swallows Nino’s moans eagerly, curling his tongue against Nino’s own before he sucks on it hungrily.

He kisses Nino for as long as his lung capacity will allow him, fingers tight on Nino’s hair, only letting up when they both need to breathe air back into their lungs.

“God, what the fuck do you think you’re __doing__ ,” he hisses, pressing his forehead against Nino’s warm own. He is shaking with all the arousal he can hardly contain, trembling with the urge to just sink into Nino’s waiting heat and lose himself in it, in everything that is Nino but he holds himself still.

“I’m not doing anything,” Nino counters with a breathy chuckle against the side of his neck, playful and teasing as Nino runs fingertips across his bare thighs. “because as you can see, I am fucking tied to the headboard and –“

“That’s exactly what I was asking,” he cuts in, ducking down and kissing Nino again, one hand on Nino’s cheek. “What __is__  this?” he asks when he pulls away, eyeing Nino’s body hungrily.

“ _ _Your__  gift,” Nino says, licking his lips and looking so damn sexy he realizes he is ducking down to kiss Nino again, hard and demanding until Nino kisses him back with equal hunger. When he pulls away, he notices with a start that Nino has his legs spread wide already and Nino is pulling him by his hips, guiding him where Nino wants him.

“Come on, I’m ready, just –“

“What?” he hisses, palming Nino’s hips and settling over Nino without actually realizing it. It took him all of his remaining working brain cells to stop himself from quickly pushing into Nino’s waiting heat.

“Just fuck me, Oh-chan, come on –“

“But –“ he says, or at least starts to, until his gaze catches something on the bed, near Nino’s legs – a vibrator and an almost empty tube of lube – lying carelessly there. “God damn it, fuck, what were you doing to yourself while I was gone, huh?” he bites out, already given up trying to stop his body from acting on pure instinct as his hands grab for Nino’s legs and hitches them up as he positions himself.

Nino’s body follows without complaint, loose-limbed and pliant, both of them moaning in succession the moment the head of his cock bumps against Nino’s entrance, already slippery with lube.

“Hurry, hurry please –“ Nino stutters, eyes half-closed and lidded heavily, another moan tearing itself from the back of Nino’s throat the moment he jerks his hips and his cock slides into Nino easily.

“God, __oh god__  –“

“You’re in, you’re in, come on, Oh-chan -!” Nino wails, and Jesus fucking Christ he’ll give everything he has if only to hear Nino say his name like that everytime, fingers sweaty around their grip against Nino’s hips, shutting his eyes closed for a second or two just to let the feeling of Nino’s tight heat settling around him. “Move, Satoshi, oh please, move –“

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

 

 

+

 

He is fucking Nino hard before he can even stop himself, eyeing the fucking yellow ribbon that is tying Nino’s wrist to the headboard. He stops when he realizes he’s near, grunting in response to Nino’s outright wail when he did.

“Don’t stop, __oh god,__  why are you stopping?!” Nino mewls, eyes so dark and lips so bruised, his tone dripping with want that it makes it even difficult to speak much more think when Nino is like this. He shakes his head, keeps shaking it as he lowers Nino’s legs carefully on the bed, sitting on his haunches and kissing Nino’s chin tenderly.

“Shhh,” he hushes Nino, fingering the sides of Nino’s mouth tenderly and reaching up with all the intention of untying Nino’s wrist from the headboard. “Let me untie you first, okay?”

“No, Oh-chan, just –“

He kisses Nino quiet again, keeping the kiss soft despite Nino’s urgency, despite Nino’s desire to hurry things along. God, it is only by sheer force that he is able to keep himself from fucking Nino again, to just get the hell on with it, to fuck Nino hard into the mattress the way Nino wants him to but he knows that he will regret it later so he doesn’t.

“You’re going to hurt yourself with this,” he tells Nino, kissing Nino again before Nino can complain. “And besides, I want you to ride me and you’re not going to be able to do that if you’re tied to the bed, okay?”

“Satoshi –“

He presses his temple against Nino’s and nuzzles Nino’s cheek as he does so, all the while tugging at the yellow ribbon - which turns out to be one of Nino’s ties – loose.

“I know this is for me,” he muses against Nino’s cheek, quietly thankful when the tie loosens as he catches Nino’s wrist before it falls limply above Nino’s head. “And I tell you, you look absolutely hot like this but you know I don’t like it when my pleasure means hurting you in the process,” he says, lifting Nino’s hand and dropping a kiss against the red marks now marring Nino’s wrist. “So enough, okay?”

Nino is quiet for once but he does nod his head in answer.

“Now, how about you ride me from here on?” he asks, with a smug kind of smile. Nino rolls his eyes in answer and pushes him off with a curt, “Let me up, then.” so he does.

 

 

+

 

He simply crawls and leans back against the headboard, hands finding Nino’s hips easily and guiding Nino up over his cock when Nino stops.

“So what about this? Do you want to take this off too?” Nino asks, pointing at the blue ribbon tied around his cock.

He stares at it for what seemed like a full minute before he answers.

“ _Nah_ ,” he hums, lifting Nino up effortlessly and helping Nino bear himself down on his cock, both of them shuddering simultaneously when his cock slides in to the hilt. “ _ _leave__ it,”

 

 

+

 

His hips leave the mattress, jerking into Nino hard enough to leave bruises, balls smacking into Nino’s ass with every upward stroke. He is bracing himself on his hands while Nino’s fingers are digging into his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he fucks Nino hard and fast. He can’t even remember the last time he fucked Nino like this, like with every slide of his cock inside Nino he is hitting another part of Nino he hasn’t touched before, Nino whimpering in response, hips rolling in counter to every upward jerks of his own as they both reach for something that is so close they can almost taste it.

“Close,” Nino mewls, back arching at the same time his hips jerks into Nino again, “fuck, __close__!”

“Ah, __yes yes yes__  –“

“Come on, O-Oh-chan, ah, __come__  on!”

He grabs Nino’s hips with a cry, hips leaving the mattress twice as fast and twice as hard, fucking Nino so hard he is sure he is hitting the ends of Nino’s body with every movement. He’s so close he’s almost dizzy with it, stomach clenching as pleasure coils tight in response to Nino’s needs.

“I’m – __Oh-chan!”__  Nino yells and comes, his eyes drawn to Nino’s open mouth and blissful expression, not realizing he is coming himself until his orgasm tears into the surface and leave him gasping for air as Nino mashes their mouths together.

 

 

+

 

“So that was your second gift,” Nino muses sleepily against the side of his neck. “I hope you liked it.”

He snorts, letting his fingertips run across Nino’s sweaty back. They are sticking together, sweat and come lingering across their damp skin but he doesn’t really mind it. Nino sure doesn’t either so that’s fine too.

“Are you kidding me?” he returns, feeling vaguely refreshed despite the fact that he also feels like he just came half of his brains out. It’s awesome. “That was the best birthday gift ever, remind me to ask you for that every goddamn year, okay?”

It is Nino’s turn to snort this time. “I couldn’t make it to your birthday dinner,” Nino explains, curling onto him like an overgrown cat and purring like one too when he scratches the back of Nino’s ear. “I thought maybe I could make it up to you by wrapping myself up as a complimentary gift. The problem was, I couldn’t wrap myself without ending up dead because of suffocation so I figured I’d just tie myself with ribbons. An unwrapped gift with ribbons, pretty clever, huh?”

He grins despite himself and presses a kiss against the side of Nino’s head. “Oh, totally,” he says, “your ingenuity is appalling, I’m in awe,” he returns, giggling when Nino hits him. “I’m serious! I mean, who else has come up with that sexy idea other than you? I mean, come on, tying a ribbon around your dick – and using __my__  color too – that’s, wow. I don’t have words, really.”

“I was thinking of coating my dick with whip cream too but I realized I’d have to buy that stuff because the hotel isn’t giving them out for free, so I discarded the idea,”

“Wow, that might have been pretty awesome, not to mention sweet.”

“Also it is expensive.”

“It’s not that expensive!”

“But I’ve already bought you something, isn’t that enough? Do I have to spend more money for that blasted whip cream when I already had to pay for that air cleaner and that damn tube of lube –“

“Ah, now you’re complaining!”

“I’m not!”

“You know you can always use my credit to buy those stuffs right? It hasn’t stopped you before from using it, so why not use it this time around to buy those things you want too?”

Nino un-buries his face from where he has it mashed against his shoulder and snorts, reaching up to pinch his cheek.

“It’s your birthday, old man,” Nino says with a soft smile, “what kind of person do you think I am if I’m going to use your credit card to buy your birthday gift?”

“I don’t mind it,” he says, meaning it; he caresses Nino’s cheek tenderly with the back of his palm and gives Nino a smile in return. “what’s mine is yours too, Nino, just so you know.”

“You are the dumbest person I know, seriously,” Nino counters without heat, “you shouldn’t say things like that, I’m not your fucking wife.”

“That’s only because you’re not a woman,” he says, grinning like a cat who got all the cream to itself. But to be honest, it sort of feels like that. He tugs Nino closer, pulling Nino tight against him until they’re almost nose to nose. “but whatever, it’s still my dick that goes into your ass so that’s still the same thing, I think.”

“You are _so_ stupid,” Nino says, rolling his eyes and pushing himself into him, desire rocking his spine the moment he realizes Nino is half-hard again. “but it’s still your birthday so I’ll forgive you.”

He grins, settling Nino firmly over his lap and making Nino feel how hard and throbbing he already is inside Nino.

Nino moans and wriggles, clenching his muscles around him so tight he realizes he is groaning in response as he leans comfortably back.

“Ready for second round, I see.”

He smirks and clicks his tongue at the same Nino braces himself with hands settled over his stomach.

“ _ _Fuck,__  yes.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, err, this volume has lots of those, um, stuff. And cheese. Lots of that, too. Just so you know.

When he gets out from the bath, Nino is already there. 

“Oh,” he exclaims, honestly surprised; “I thought you aren’t coming home tonight.” he says, brushing his still damp hair away from his eyes as Nino abandons his script and stands up. 

“That was the plan.” Nino answers, arms going around him the moment he is close enough to do so, mouth meeting his halfway. They kiss for a while, soft and sweet, his fingers carding through Nino’s still very much styled hair before pulling away. 

“But you’re here now.” he comments, fingering the back of Nino’s nape tenderly; Nino shrugs and leans up for another kiss which he wholeheartedly gave in to, angling his head a little to the right to deepen the kiss. Nino moans in answer and he eagerly swallows the noises spilling out of Nino’s mouth, unconsciously tugging on the small hairs peppering the back of Nino’s head as he sucks on Nino’s tongue. 

“Yes,” Nino breathes when they pull apart again, “The shoot was cancelled because of the rain, at least for tonight. Filming resumes tomorrow after lunch, so I thought I’d go home and you know, spend the night with you but if you have other plans, don’t let me stop you.” Nino says in that seemingly uncaring tone of his that makes things in his chest tight as he pulls Nino’s closer. 

“What are you even saying,” he murmurs, cupping Nino’s chin and tilting Nino’s face up for a kiss. “Whatever plans I have before, those are immediately cancelled because you’re here now. Make no mistakes about that, brat. Now if you’re done bitching, do shut up and kiss me. I miss you too, you know?” 

Nino makes a noise that is part-pissed, part-amused but he ignores it in favor of cupping the back of Nino’s head and dipping his own to catch Nino’s lips for another hard kiss.

  

+

  

“You sure you’re not tired?” he asks. Nino shakes his head and sits his ass down the edge of the bed, dragging him with him. “Hungry?” 

“Only for this.” Nino says, pointing at the dent his cock makes through the towel he had wrapped around his waist. He’s surprised Nino has yet to tug it off the minute Nino is able to get his hands on him, but maybe it is because Nino is doing it more for himself than for him, he can’t be sure. 

He shrugs and stays dutifully still as Nino leans up to trace a wet line from stomach to his navel, the tips of Nino’s tongue tracing his abs wickedly enough he is groaning in appreciation before he can even stop himself. 

“What are you waiting for then?” he asks, feeling rather impatient despite the fact that he shouldn’t be. Nino is here, afterall, and he knows Nino is going to take good care of him no matter what. 

“Instructions.” Nino says simply, tilting his head up and resting his cheek against his tummy, Nino’s fingers ghosting tiny, shivery trails across the skin of his abdomen. 

“Seriously?” 

Nino grins and licks his lips. “Seriously,” Nino says, “so tell me how you want to do this. I’ll do whatever you want me to, Oh-chan.” 

That warms him, immensely. He smiles, leaning down to capture Nino’s mouth again, licking inside with single-minded purpose, his fingers tight on Nino’s hair. It doesn’t escape his attention that Nino’s own fingers are clutching his legs through the towel, Nino moaning through his mouth as he sucks on Nino’s tongue eagerly. 

He pulls back up, still smiling, thumb caressing Nino’s cheek as he does so. “Blow me?” 

Nino smiles at the same time the towel covering his naked half falls to the floor. 

“Gladly.”

  

+

  

“How’s filming going, by the way?” he asks, eyes half-closed and heavy lidded; he knows there’s a bigger possibility that Nino will either, 1) bite him or 2) pull away, __then__  bite him for asking stupid questions while Nino’s mouth is otherwise occupied but he can’t help it. 

There hasn’t been much time to be together lately, after all, since Nino has been working on probably five hundred different projects that even he has to ask Nino’s manager to fit him into Nino’s schedule just to be able to see the younger man. 

Nino doesn’t answer and simply tilts his head, allowing his cock to pulse out from Nino’s mouth before Nino is leaning down to suck on his balls. He gasps, sharp and sudden, feeling like his breath has been punched out of him in a rush when Nino slides a gentle thumb across the dripping slit. 

“Ah – fuck.” he moans, throwing his head back with his eyes tightly shut in lieu of watching the way Nino’s mouth work around his cock. He can’t even though he wants to, because he knows that if he does, he’ll come. 

“You can if you want to.” Nino says mostly against his cock and he finds himself swearing colorfully under his breath at the fucking wonderful sensation. He grits his teeth and grabs Nino’s shoulder to steady himself, then takes a staggering step backwards to pull himself, his cock, away from Nino’s mouth as he tries to regulate his breathing. 

“What’s wrong?” Nino asks, confused as he watches the way Nino is licking the remains of his arousal from his lips. He reaches out to touch the side of Nino’s mouth, breathing in and out to calm himself down. 

“You’re going to make me come so hard,” he explains raggedly, fingering Nino’s ears affectionately. “I need a minute.” 

“That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?” Nino answers, tugging at him again by his hips, his mouth already parted and eyeing his cock like it’s a huge piece of hamburger steak. “I want you to come, that’s why I’m blowing you, so __come__  here and let me.” 

“Nino –“ 

“What?” 

“Can we take it slow?” he asks, cupping Nino’s jaw. “I miss you and I want to enjoy this rare chance that you’re here and we’re together. We have the whole night ahead of us, but for now, I just. I want to look at you,” he says, more like pleads. “So, can I?” 

Nino tsks and tugs him forward still. “Of course you can,” Nino says, “ _ _later.__  After I made you come, so fucking _ _come__  here,” Nino says, impatient, already wrapping a hand around the base of his cock and making whimpering noises as he does so. 

“Kazu –“ 

“We'll take it slow later," Nino says, still mostly against his cock, smiling like he means it. "for now, I want you. I want to feel you, Oh-chan. Please, please, I -" 

He is dipping his head and ducking down to catch Nino's mouth into a hungry kiss before Nino can finish, sucking on Nino's tongue as Nino's fingers squeezes his cock. 

"God, Kazu -" he moans when he pulls away, watches, dazed, as Nino doesn't waste time as he parts his mouth wide and closes it around the head of his cock with a moan.

 

+

 

“Ah – _god_ , Nino, so good –“ Ohno moans, voice thick with arousal and Nino feels the heat down to his toes and straight to his own cock that is still trapped inside the confinements of his jeans and boxers.

He wants to touch himself but doing so will require letting Ohno go and for now, that’s exactly what he cannot do, what he __doesn’t__ want to do because this time, he wants his head clear and his mind set on one thing : to pleasure Ohno. 

He wants to focus his attention on Ohno and Ohno alone, to feel all the little shudders rocking Ohno’s frame whenever he would suck on the head of Ohno’s cock, hear all those tiny, breathless gasps Ohno makes whenever he would mouth at the veins around Ohno’s cock, his fingers massaging Ohno’s balls. 

“S-Shit __– oh shit__ , Nino –“ Ohno groans at the same time he moans right back, humming his pleasure around Ohno’s cock; he pulls just a bit away to lick the precum leaking at the tip, closing his eyes and enjoying the taste of Ohno’s arousal lingering strong in his tongue. 

He pumps the base at the same time he rolls his tongue over the head and hums Ohno’s name. “Oh-chan – __god__ , you’re so hard.” he whispers, breathy and husky before he leans down to suck the entire head into his mouth again. Ohno keens, fingers tugging at his hair as he parts his mouth wider and lets Ohno in, both of them shaking the moment they both realize that the action took Ohno deeper. 

“Ah, damn it! God __fucking__  damn, Nino, shit, I’m going to –“ Ohno curses, his voice dark and so, so sexy he finds himself clawing at Ohno’s hips as Ohno’s own jerks in response, fucking his mouth in slow, shallow thrusts but with such reverent tenderness that makes his own chest tight. Ohno moans at one particular jerk that brings him deeper into his throat, his nose almost touching Ohno’s stomach at the action as he moans in return before he can even stop himself. 

Eyes closed and his mouth parted wide for Ohno, he stays still, concentrating on breathing entirely through his nose, fingernails digging into the soft skin of Ohno’s hips as Ohno fucks him, fucks him, fucks him, his name spilling out of Ohno’s lips like a mantra. 

“God, __oh god__ , Nino – I’m –“ Ohno stutters here and he takes it as his cue to swallow around Ohno’s cock, feels Ohno’s hips jerks hard before Ohno is coming into the back of his throat with a shout.

  

+

“I’m dead.” Ohno breathes into his neck, fingers warm and tender against the nape of his neck. He giggles, breath catching as Ohno nuzzles his cheek, his neck, the side of his temple. They’re tangled from head to toe, much too warm for it to be really comfortable but to be honest, he likes it. 

He fucking missed Ohno so much he wonders if Ohno’s aware of it, but if he’s not, well, he guesses that’s okay. What matters is that Ohno is here now, and that his hunger for the older man is at least a little bearable now than it was minutes before. 

“I think you killed me.” Ohno comments, breath warm and familiar against the skin of his neck and he finds himself leaning further into Ohno, brushing affectionate touches across the damp skin of Ohno’s back. 

“You’re still _talking_ ; that means I don’t have any reason to be worried that I’d accidentally killed you.” he says with a chuckle, pinching Ohno’s butt playfully. Ohno wriggles his hips in answer and he gasps, realizes almost belatedly that he is still hard and unfulfilled inside his pants. 

“No, really,” Ohno counters, tone dripping with question as he feels Ohno’s hand walk its way from his waist to the front of his pants. Ohno touches him through the rough fabric and he is thrusting unto Ohno’s hand before he can even stop himself. “Damn, you’re still hard. You didn’t come?” 

“Thanks for noticing,” he says, drily; “and no, I didn’t. It’s kinda hard to, especially when I have my hands and mouth full of you.” he says, giggling at Ohno’s answering chuckles. 

“Not my fault, obviously,” Ohno answers, tugging the hem of his shirt and fingering his hip tenderly. Then, “You want me to take care of that at some point?” 

“Maybe later.” he says, leaning sideways to aim a kiss to Ohno’s mouth and getting Ohno’s chin instead. Ohno giggles, then giggles again when he all but shifts to bite Ohno’s chin. 

“You’re being weird,” Ohno says, “are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” 

Ohno shrugs, Ohno’s hand, warm and familiar, is plastered against his tummy, his breath hitting the side of his face equally so. “It’s just that, well, you’re usually not this patient when it comes to sex. Usually, I let you come first, you remember?” 

He hums, shifting to his side so he can bury his nose against the crook of Ohno’s neck, nuzzling the warm patch of skin in between Ohno’s neck and shoulder. “Usually,” he agrees, patting Ohno’s hip tenderly. “but not today.” 

“Why?” 

He grins, can’t not, hiding his face further against the warm skin of Ohno’s neck. “Because for once, I want to enjoy you.” he confesses. 

“Kazu –“

He reaches up with one hand, placing his palm against Ohno’s chest where Ohno’s heart is beating steadily underneath. __This__  – this is when he loves the older man most, when he can simply lay close to Ohno and hear the steady beat of Ohno’s heart beneath his palm, feel the soft warmness of Ohno’s skin against his own. 

“Because,” 

“Because what?”

He shifts again, and this time, Ohno does too, Ohno’s hands on his hips, their mouths almost touching. 

“Because…” he says then pauses to squeeze at Ohno’s forearms, “I want to feel you, taste you, enjoy the way your cock harden inside my mouth the way it would when you’re buried so deep into me when you’re fucking me. I want you losing your mind for an orgasm that only I can give you, feel your fingers digging into my scalp as I take you into the back of my throat over and over again,” he says, “I want it so badly, Oh-chan, that I ache just thinking about it.” 

“ _Jesus,_ Kazu –“ 

“I want to be able to document it all but I can’t do that if I’m too busy chasing after my own orgasm, you see? I can’t feel you shaking against me when I’m shaking too, I can’t fully enjoy running my hands all over you, can’t fully enjoy the way your skin ripples under my touch if my brain is fried and I am sobbing with so much pleasure that it is so hard to even think past it.” 

_“God_ , I –“ 

“I love you, you know?” he says, his voice softer now, his fingers tracing Ohno’s cheek even more so. “I love the way you make me feel even when I’m not with you, I love the way you seemed to have made it your priority to make me happy, to know that you put me first in everything you do, the way you make me feel like you wouldn’t settle for anyone else because you have me. I love that you can make my heart beat faster with just the sound of your voice when you call my name, the fact that you can make me rock hard within seconds when you’re close enough for me to touch you.” 

“Kazu –“ 

He traces Ohno’s bottom lip with his thumb and smiles at the way Ohno’s eyes close in answer, his heart thudding unevenly inside his chest at the lovely sight. 

“It’s too much sometimes, you know, but even despite that, I _like_ it. I like it very, very much,” he breathes, “Though to be honest, even after so long, I still find myself waking up suddenly at night when I couldn’t feel you, just to make sure you’re still there beside me. It’s scary, you know? To love you this much that I can no longer imagine my life without you, that just the simple thought of losing you is enough to kill me slow.” 

“ _ _Stop__.” Ohno says, voice rough with need and with something else he can’t quite put his fingers on; “Nino, __stop__ ; God, you – do you think you’re the only one who feel that way?” Ohno asks, taking his hand and clutching it for dear life before Ohno places it firmly against Ohno’s chest, where Ohno’s heart is now thudding crazily underneath. 

“Do you even know what you’re doing to me, what you __mean__  to me, what you __are__ to me? You’re my life, just. God, you’re everything to me, okay?” Ohno says, grasping his jaw and leaning in for a kiss, hard and swift, but still soft and tender. “Jesus, Nino, I love you too, so much, you can’t honestly think that after everything we’ve been through, you’re the only one who feels that way because you’re wrong. I’m just. I’m so fucking in love with you, and there’s no way out. No way out, you hear me?” Ohno finishes before he is leaning in again for a kiss. 

This time, he kisses back, worming his fingers to the back of Ohno’s neck to keep him in place. His chest is tight with all the emotion, all the love he feels for the older man, can barely breathe through it but he doesn’t care. Ohno is kissing him like he’d rather die than pull away, breathing him in, sucking the air straight from his mouth with Ohno’s hands gentle on his face. 

“I love __you__ ,” he breathes into Ohno’s mouth as Ohno nods his head in return. 

“As I love you,” Ohno says, pressing another kiss into the side of his mouth as Ohno tugs him in, cradling him, making him feel wanted, appreciated, loved. 

But here in Ohno’s arms, he knows that he is. Always is and always will be.

 

 


End file.
